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Saturday, August 14, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I had the most engrossing discussion with our Human Resources
manager here at the office the other day. She was telling me
about a notice she received recently indicating that next
year all employees will have to file a new W-2, the purpose
of which will be to adjust their taxable income to reflect
employer contributions to health insurance.
In other words, the money your employer pays toward your
insurance (in many cases fifty percent of the cost) will,
beginning next year, be considered income. Income that you
will get taxed on.
For example, if you're single, your insurance premium is
likely $600 a month of which your employer pays $300. Next
year that $300 a month (times twelve months) means that you
will be paying taxes on an additional $3,600.
If you have a family that is likely about double, so about
$7,200. In many cases it is much higher depending on the
number of kids you have and your medical history, etc. Your
income won't actually be going up, you will just be paying
taxes on "benefits" that the government has been ignoring
up until now.
And it gets better. Check out a tax schedule. Will an
additional $3,600 or $7,200 (or more) bump you up to the
next tax bracket? Congratulations! You owe more taxes.
Once again, you're not actually getting any more income,
this is just money that you have been stealing from the
federal government up until now.
And this is only one small stipulation in the new health
care bill.
The controversy surrounding this whole affair reminds me of
Bush Senior, ironically enough, who said while running for
president in 1988, "Read my lips, no new taxes."
He, of course, almost immediately went on to implement huge
tax increases. Now here comes President Obama who is doing
almost the exact same thing, except with an even broader
scope!
Why don't we hold these cheats and liars liable?
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+----------- Even More Bizarre August Holidays ------------+
August 21 is National Spumoni Day
August 22 is Be An Angel Day
August 23 is National Spongecake Day
August 24 is Knife Day
August 25 is Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
August 26 is National Cherry Popsicle Day
August 27 is Petroleum Day
August 28 is World Sauntering Day
August 29 is More Herbs, Less Salt Day
August 30 is National Toasted Marshmallow Day
August 31 is National Trail Mix Day
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-------- Man seeks name change to 'Boomer the Dog' ---------
GREEN TREE, Pa. - A suburban Pittsburgh man who dresses as
a canine for conventions and parties is asking a judge to
let him change his legal name to Boomer the Dog. Gary Guy
Mathews, 44, of Green Tree, told Allegheny County Common
Pleas Court Judge Robert Folino during Tuesday's hearing
that he is involved with "furries," a movement of people
who dress in animal costumes that has an annual convention
in Pittsburgh, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported.
Mathews told the judge his name and costume are based on
the main character from "Here's Boomer," a short-lived NBC
series about a stray mutt that rescues humans from danger.
Mathews said many of his friends already call him Boomer
and his parents had even warmed to the moniker before they
died. Folino, whose ruling is due this week, said he may
reject the request if he determines it "causes confusion
in the community" or raises the "likelihood of unintended
consequences."
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--------- Expert: Glowing shrimp not a health risk ---------
NEWPORT, Ore. - Oregon experts said the glow-in-the-dark
effect some consumers have been reporting in their shrimp
is likely the result of non-harmful marine bacteria.
Kaety Hildenbrand of Oregon State University's Sea Grant
Extension said many consumers have been calling with
concerns about pink shrimp purchased on the coast or in
large stores glowing in the dark, The (Eugene) Register-
Guard reported Wednesday. Hildenbrand said several types
of non-harmful marine bacteria can cause seafood to appear
luminescent. "This seems to be a banner year for glowing
seafood," she said. "One person turned her lights off to
watch a movie, and her shrimp salad started to glow.
Another man left his pink shrimp (out) to thaw, and when
he got up, it was glowing in the sink."
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of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E!
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hey Lewis, Am I the only one that finds it hard to believe
that this eel slid up this guys butt when he fell in the
tank? How big is his bung hole? The whole story sounds
"fishy" to me. Just sayin'. -Jo Ann
[I'm afraid I don't know much about either the strength
of eels or the elasticity of Chinese mens' @ssholes, but
I do know that when they're frightened eels like to hide
in dark, tight crevices. Animal Planet.]
The man who fell into the tank of eels and one ended up
inside him - can he be charged with animal cruelty?
-cecille in jamaica
[Only if the eel didn't enjoy it.]
Lewis, Found John's comment interesting concerning the
"morons" making up the global warming graphs. Most of those
"morons" are NASA scientists. Anyway, it's not pollution
that causes global warming, it is carbon dioxide (and other
green house gases like methane). -Dorothy
[Have we forgotten already the big scandal involving the
center for climate change research at the University of East
Anglia? You can read all about it by clicking the archive
link at the bottom of this page and looking for the link
titled "The Warmest Scandal Of The Year".]
Hey Lewis! I love reading about the bizarre holidays. I'd
like to propose a new one to celebrate wrinkly Chinese dogs.
We could call it Sharpei Diem. -Jody
Hey Lewis, I've never commented before but could not let
this one slip by. Most, if not all, of these 'charities'
target the elderly intentionally, specifically because they
are vulnerable. And once they find a live one they pull out
all the stops. Where on earth did you get the idea that they
would never take advantage or someone if they knew? -Stephen
[I have worked for a couple direct mail companies in the
past and they have always been as compliant as possible with
cease and desist requests. Of course I have never worked for
a 'charity' or a company that operated, in part, out of the
country, so I cannot comment on that.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
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