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Saturday, March 6, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Here is something to think about. I recently read about a
guy named Lindsey Williams who wrote a book called 'The
Energy Non-Crisis' in which he talks about how the current
gasoline and oil prices are artificially created by an
international conspiracy designed to keep the United States
buying oil from certain middle-eastern countries,
particularly Saudi Arabia.
He claims that the largest oil field in the world was dis-
covered about twenty years ago just off the northern coast
of Alaska. Enough oil, potentially, to supply all of North
America's energy needs for the next two hundred years.
This discovery was hushed up by the federal government,
according to Williams, in order to keep us buying our oil
from the middle-east. But why?
The theory is that forty years ago Henry Kissinger, acting
as Secretary of State for the United States, worked out
deals with certain oil-producing countries, to buy as much
oil as they could produce and make then wildly rich provided
that they 1) conduct all oil transactions in U.S. dollars,
practically guaranteeing that the dollar will be the accepted
international currency, and 2) that these countries will
spend a portion of the money WE send them to buy U.S. debt.
Of course, in the last forty years the U.S national debt has
gone from $390 billion in 1970 to a ridiculous twelve trillion
dollars today.
What does that mean to you and me? It means that if Williams
is right, and the U.S. started producing the majority of its
energy at home, the middle-east would stop financing our
debt (with our own money) causing a collapse of the dollar
and a recession that would make the 1930s look like a tea
party.
But is it true?
Interestingly enough...the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
(ANWR), where all of this oil supposedly is, first became
a federal protected area in 1960, and in 1980 an expansion
of the refuge included 1.5 million acres of the coastal plain
where Williams claims the discovery was made, requiring
congressional authorization before oil drilling may proceed.
It makes you think about who is really responsible for rising
gas prices.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+----------- Even More Bizarre March Holidays ------------+
March 21 is Fragrance Day
March 22 is National Goof-off Day
March 23 is National Organize Your Home Office Day and
National Chip and Dip Day
March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day
March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and Spinach
Festival Day
March 27 is National "Joe" Day
March 28 is Something On A Stick Day
March 29 is Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day
March 30 is I Am In Control Day
March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The
Half Shell Day
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--------- Man in gorilla suit helps nab suspect ---------
CANTERBURY, England - British police said a kick from a
man in a gorilla suit helped police catch a suspect flee-
ing from a fight at a supermarket. Canterbury police said
a 24-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault and
resisting arrest -- with the help of Andy Ingham, 30, who
was dressed in a gorilla suit on a street corner Feb. 18
to promote his gym, Fit4Less, to commuters, Kentnews.co.uk
reported. "Obviously I had the gorilla suit on and had my
hands full of bags as well," Ingham said. "The policewoman
ran up the bridge and there was this guy running over the
bridge. "The police officer tried to arrest him, at which
point he tried to resist -- he grabbed her and slammed her
into the side of the bridge," Ingham said. "Then the man
started running towards us and the police officer shouted
'assistance please!'" Ingham delivered a kick to the
suspect's legs that did not take the man down, but slowed
him enough for police to catch up and arrest him. Police
said they are appealing to the public for information
about the Feb. 18 fight at Tesco supermarket.
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-------- Police: 'Body hair' put in officer's food --------
EVESHAM, N.J. - Police in New Jersey said they charged a
restaurant cook with aggravated assault for concealing a
"body hair" in food prepared for an officer. Authorities
said Ryan Burke, 26, of Stratford, was working Feb. 21 at
Good Foods to Go in Evesham when he concealed the "body
hair" on a bagel sandwich made for a police officer,
whose name was not released, The Courier Post, Cherry
Hill, N.J., reported Thursday. Burke was arrested and
charged with aggravated assault, food tampering and
retaliation for a past official action. Burke, who denies
the accusation, said he was arrested by the officer in
March 2009 for failing to pull over during a traffic stop.
However, he said the officer is a regular at the restaurant
and there had been no previous incidents. "I think that
this is absurd," said Burke, who was fired from the
restaurant following the incident. "They decided to ruin
my life."
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, I really enjoy your bizarre news reports. Horny
elephants! What's not to love. But I only receive the
newsletter about once a week. Is it not a daily? Where
are the other days going? -Brothertucker
[I only publish when I have really good horny elephant
stories to write about.]
Lewis, I thought your readers should know that even us
"West Coast Elitists" have some geniuses in our midst.
He probably didn't follow the old saying, "look before
you pee!" -Brian "Elma man electrocuted by urinating
on power line"
After reading about the person in scuba gear trying to
smuggle marijuana across the US Mexico border via sewer,
I can understand why people call it 'good shit.'
Regarding smuggling drugs from Mexico to the US by some-
one wearing scuba equipment disturbs me in two ways. First
of all, that there are sewers running under the border
between Mexico and the United States. Honestly which
direction is "Down hill" here, Which country is dumping
on the other? And second and more disturbing is that there
are "infrared cameras" monitoring the sewage? -Thom
Yippee: March 17 is Submarine Day. I can't wait to head
down to the beach and watch the submarine races. -Steve
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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