Saturday, December 21, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

We have had some great bizarre Christmas stories in the past, and every December, when I think it is finally going to be a nice, quiet end to the year, the world of bizarre gives me another whopper, like this story of an herbally enhanced Santa.

This Oklahoma resident was dreaming of a green Christmas but ended up spending a bit of time behind bars after a special task force in Pottawatomie County found $600,000 worth of marijuana stashed in his mobile home.

Authorities say 48-year-old Floyd Wren showed up in the middle of the sting operation and told deputies it was simply a misunderstanding.

Apparently Floyd never learned that simply denying everything only works on women.

He allegedly admitted to being a "bad Santa" and growing the weed for Christmas presents.

In fact, Wren said he had been out delivering the merry marijuana and had just come back to restock.

The Pottawatomie County Sheriff said, "My deputies said he was the 'Green Santa.' He was out delivering marijuana Christmas gifts."

Wren was arrested and charged with cultivation, possession and distribution of marijuana. The task force also seized guns and hundreds of dollars in cash.

Authorities say they plan to burn the weed to make sure all of it is destroyed. Most likely in thousands of small, individual fires.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Spanish brewery celebrates Christmas with Satan Claus beer --*
PUIGPUNYENT, Spain - A Spanish brewery said it is honoring those facing a "hard Christmas" with its latest limited-edition brew, dubbed Satan Klaus. The Cas Cerveser brewery in Puigpunyent, on the island of Majorca, said Satan Claus is a pumpkin beer containing cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg with a 6.6 percent alcohol content, TheLocal.es reported Thursday. "The name Satan Klaus honors the fact this is going to be a hard Christmas for many people," said Chelo Morey, who runs Cas Cerveser with her husband. "These are lean years, and our seasonal beer is a little diabolical." Morey said the supply of the beer is limited, with only 13 gallons produced.


*-- Police: Man attacked mother in Christmas ornament dispute --*
CASCO TOWNSHIP, Mich. - Authorities in Michigan said they arrested a man accused of repeatedly punching his mother in the face because he was angry about a Christmas ornament. The Allegan County Sheriff's Office said deputies responded to a 911 call from a Casco Township home early Saturday and determined Lewis Atwood, 33, had attacked his mother because their Christmas tree had an ornament with his brother's name but didn't have one bearing his own name, WZZM-TV, Grand Rapids, Mich., reported Thursday. "He had punched his mother four or five times, she suffered a bloody nose, had a cut lip," sheriff's Capt. Frank Baker said. "They were decorating the Christmas tree, he had found that there was only an ornament with his brother's name and not one with his on it, which upset him." Baker said Atwood was drunk at the time of the incident, which was witnessed by his girlfriend and his brother. Atwood was charged with misdemeanor domestic assault. His mother suffered only minor injuries, the sheriff's office said.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
"With a little elbow-grease from the elves, a little patience from the community, and just a pinch of holiday magic, SantaCon can spread joy." Nothing says Merry Christmas like a pinch and a punch from Santa and his elves. -Tom

The story you opened with about the Illinois woman is the very reason, when I went through my divorce, that I picked everything that my ex had asked for (as well as everything else in the house I no longer wanted or had no use for) and stacked it up nice and neat outside on the side porch. She brought a few friends and a truck expecting to come in and clean me out, but things didn't exactly go her way. My house. My rules. Hope you're having a great holiday season, Lewis! Happy whatever doesn't offend you! -Rick

Lewis, I think you are missing Gloria's point. She is not saying that it matters to her whether there is a black Santa or not. She is saying that Santa since his inception was white. There is supposed to be ONE Santa. That's the way the tale has always been told. If children see a white Santa and then a black one, they will become confused, because there is supposed to be one, not two. -Rick
[You mean kids won't be confused by how a one-time Greek Orthodox Bishop from Turkey turned into a magical elf who visits hundreds of millions of homes in one night, breaking and entering and committing criminal trespass?]

Lewis; Santa isn't white. I know because I met him once when I was much younger and into enlightenment. Though, if I recall, there was a bottle of Scotch and some LSD involved. He was kinda multicolored and he rode a bright red 1960 Pan Head. And he said that people should quit thinking about skin color and think about character because skin color don't mean shit! -Wes
[Now, show me on the doll where this Santa touched you.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS