Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here's a good idea; keep a gun in your house for protection. Here's a bad idea; keep it loaded and unlocked next to your bed while you sleep. That was the unfortunate decision of Arizona resident David Jennings who woke up in the middle of the night to find his own pistol being pointed at his head.

"Don't move," said the intruder, who was silhouetted by the glow of the television set which Jennings had left on.

Realizing the stupidity of his thoughtlessness, Jennings had to make an instant decision. Thinking about his wife lying next to him and his children down the hall, he decided to defend himself and his family.

Fortunately, with experience as a bouncer and training in mixed martial arts, Jennings was better prepared than most. He immediately tackled the intruder and began screaming for his wife to wake up and call 911.

His gamble paid off. He was able to disarm the intruder, and when police showed up they tried to arrest Jennings because by that time he looked like the attacker, having the intruder subdued and bouncing his head off the floor.

Well, if you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough. Jennings said that he has since bought a trigger lock for his gun.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- World's largest chess piece unveiled --*
ST. LOUIS - A Missouri chess club has unveiled the "World's Largest Chess Piece," a 14 1/2-foot tall king weighing 2,280 pounds. The piece, installed on the patio in front of the World Chess Hall of Fame in St. Louis by the Chess Club and Scholastic Center of St. Louis, was formed by R.G. Ross Construction, The (St. Louis) Post-Dispatch reported Monday. "This piece serves as a monument to the chess culture we are creating in St. Louis," club spokesman Mike Wilmering said. Wilmering said the piece, which was unveiled Monday to commemorate the Tuesday start of the 2012 U.S. Chess Championships, which has been hosted by the club since 2009, was certified by Guinness World Records as the largest on the globe. The previous record holder, a 13.1-foot-high king, was built by Mats Allanson in Sweden in 2003.

*-- Man sought for pulling women's pants down --*
OTTAWA - Police in the Canadian capital Ottawa were seeking a man Tuesday suspected of approaching at least nine women from behind and pulling their pants down. The most recent attack was midday Monday, when an 18-year-old woman walking on a path was approached from behind, The Ottawa Citizen reported. The attacker was unsuccessful, as the woman whirled around and threw coffee in his face, police said. As with the eight other attacks, the 5-foot-6 white man with a goatee in his early 20s casually walked away, the report said. The attacks began April 14 and have targeted women walking alone. In some of the incidents, the women were sexually groped. In one case, the victim was knocked to the ground, police said. There were three separate attacks on April 16, the report said.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hi Lewis, I've seen plenty of e-mail newsletters come and go, but I'm glad Bizarre News is still around. I think it's your never ending search for the bizarre that's been keeping it young. Heck, it's been keeping ALL of us young. -Mike
[When it comes to bizarre I have found that I never have to search very far.]

Lewis, I forward your letter to 10 of my friends that I have on a group email. I don't know if any have signed up yet. I have a few less raunchy friends so I have to delete some of your remarks. Keep up the great work, you really make my morning. -Carole
[You have to delete some of my comments because they are too raunchy? What kind of pussy-lickers do you have for friends?]

Lewis, I don't understand the point in stealing a baby. You eliminate all the fun of making one! Of course, maybe she was afraid of the complications that come from being preggo, but I found the experience to be kind of fun, and my husband loved my swollen belly. -Beverly
[And there is always the chance that you could be one of the few women who experience orgasmic child-birth!]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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