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Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

If you want things done right you have to do them yourself. Sometimes even if you are a respected fertility doctor.

77-year-old Donald L. Cline was arrested on a charge of obstruction of justice after allegedly using his own sperm to impregnate many women who came to him for fertility treatments.

In court, Cline pleaded not guilty to the charge. He was released from custody without bail. The court was told that Cline was named as the father of several people who took DNA tests.

Cline allegedly once said that he may have used his sperm 50 times to impregnate women.

He allegedly told one of his biological daughters that he was just trying to help people have babies, and now that he has found God, he recognizes that what he did was wrong because he hurt people.

And while the whole thing is fairly disgusting, not to mention immoral, it's still impressive that his septuagenarian balls were still churning out live rounds.


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Police say a Florida man asking if a bulletproof vest "still worked" was fatally shot by his cousin. A Tampa police report says Joaquin Mendez, 23, put on the vest and "wondered aloud whether it still worked." Police say his cousin, Alexandro Garibaldi, 24, pulled out a gun and responded, "Let's see." Officers found Mendez outside the house with a gunshot wound in his chest. Mendez died at a hospital. According to the report, Garibaldi initially told officers he found his wounded cousin after hearing a gunshot. However, police say a witness described Garibaldi shooting Mendez. Police say the vest was found inside the house with a gunshot.


*-- It's Like a Flat Tire On Your Wedding Day --*

New Hampshire resident Angelique Arsenault was having a very bad day when her limo got a flat tire on the way to her wedding in Milford. "It didn't even seem real at the time, but it happened," Angelique said. Just five minutes from her house, the limo carrying her bridesmaids and family abruptly pulled over. "We just laughed about it," Angelique said. "We actually had cars driving by us and they just took pictures and left and then finally someone actually stopped to see if we needed a ride." The driver who stopped was a man named Jay. He had a car full of kids but he was determined to help. So he dropped them off, returned, and asked the bride, "where to?" Angelique and her bridal party arrived only thirty minutes late. The groom was patiently waiting.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

The guy who had the gun and the dog in his luggage was only arrested on weapons charges? He should also have been charged with animal cruelty! How did he expect the dog to survive? -Chris
[Are you kidding? There are all sorts of pet carriers that people take with them all over the place. I recently saw someone in line at the DMV with some little rat dog in a pet carrier that looked like one of those rolling luggage pieces.]

That story about the 70 y.o. who robbed a bank to get away from his wife reminds me of an old joke. A little old lady goes to a lawyer to get a divorce from her husband. The lawyer asks how old she is and she tells him she is 90 years young. When he asks her why, at this late age, she wants to get a divorce she answers, 'You have to know when enough is enough.'
[Maybe the guy in the story thought it would be less humiliating for his wife if she had a husband in prison vs. being a 70-year-old divorcee.]

Why does every mother-daughter lesbian story I see involve a couple of disgusting harpies? Why can't they be hot, like they are on all the porno sites?
['EVERY' mother-daughter lesbian story you see? This is the first legitimate case I think I've ever seen. Just what do you spend your time on the Internet doing?]

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