fiogf49gjkf0d
Bizarre News - April 18, 2015
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Dear Penthouse,
As a 35-year-old mother I never thought this kind of thing would happen to me. Since I got married and started having kids when I was 19, I never had much of a chance to be a wild child. Maybe that's why when my 16-year-old daughter asked if she could bring some of her friends over to our house to party, I said yes!
I never knew my 'little girl' was so popular. She brought over a group of fun, friendly young people and soon I felt like I was part of the group.
I might not have been the best decision, but I was having so much fun with my daughter's friends that I brought out some alcohol and even shared my pot with them.
After that the party really got going with more adult fun. I had forgotten just how horny teenagers can be! It was during a game of naked Twister that I noticed a rather 'hunky' 18-year-old boy really checking me out.
Since I already practically had my bare backside in his face with my left foot of green and my right hand on yellow, it didn't take much encouraging for me to get him into my bedroom for a much more private game.
Unfortunately, that didn't last as long as I was hoping for. While he had a LOT of enthusiasm he didn't have nearly as much stamina. So after our romp I grabbed 'Bob' (that's my Battery Operated Boyfriend) and went back to the party to show the group how a real woman needs to be satisfied.
You might think that would be enough sexy adventure for one night, but while I went back to my room and fell asleep, the bad girl inside of me was still wide awake.
I didn't realize how horny that 'bad girl' was until my daughter's own boyfriend snuck into my room in the wee hours of the morning.
My poor little sweetheart. She might be a party girl at 16, but apparently she's not woman enough yet to handle her boy-friend's 10-inch monster!
It was a crazy end to a crazy night and I had to tell it to someone. Thanks for listening.
Signed, 'Horny Mom' in Georgia
P.S. If you don't believe this story is true, you can look it up for yourself.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
Questions? Comments?
Email Lewis
*-- Police at Texas fest played rock-paper-scissors with underage drinker --*
SNOOK, Texas (UPI) - A game of rock-paper-scissors at a Texas Chilifest landed three officers in hot water when they allowed an underage drinker to play the ability to avoid a citation. Constable Dennis Gaas of Burleson County Precinct 2 said the three officers, who work for two different departments, were working security at Chilifest in Snook when they were caught on video allowing a teen girl to play a round of rock-paper-scissors with one of the officers in a bid to avoid a citation. Video of the game, originally posted to humor website Total Frat Move, shows the girl win the game and celebrate her victory. Gaas said the officers were informed they would not be asked to work security at future events and they were reported to their respective supervisors. He did not identify the officers or the agencies where they work. The constable said "officers are given the choice of giving a warning or issuing a citation for any violation they encounter during this event," but he said "playing a game to see if a citation or warning is given does not fall under professional conduct." "I hope that the public will realize that this was a few officers and not all the officers at Chilifest," Gaas said. "Those who came and performed the job that was requested and required to make this event safe and enjoyable, should be commended for a job well done."
*-- San Diego surgeons treat man's 'Candy Crush thumb' --*
SAN DIEGO (UPI) - A team of San Diego doctors said a 29-year-old man was treated for "Candy Crush thumb" after he tore a tendon from playing the smartphone color-matching game. The doctors, writing in medical journal JAMA Internal Medicine, said the man was found to have ruptured a tendon in his thumb and he told doctors the injury had come after he played Candy Crush Saga on his phone "all day for 6 to 8 weeks." The tendon was fixed in surgery, the study said. The study authors said the man did not report any pain in his thumb until the tendon actually ruptured, indicating an addiction to the game may have caused the patient to feel less pain. "The potential for video games to reduce pain perception raises clinical and social considerations about excessive use, abuse, and addiction," they wrote. "Future research should consider whether pain reduction is a reason some individuals play video games excessively, manifest addiction, or sustain injuries associated with video gaming." "Candy Crush thumb" is the latest condition to result from smartphone technology that previously gave rise to the term "text neck."
*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Shooting an armadillo, fence, wall, and mother-in-law... I bet that guy is a billiards player and practices his carom shots.
[
Maybe he's the Batman villain Deadshot.]
I'm thinking the guy in Georgia may be a lot smarter than the rest of us...able to shoot his mother-in-law by ricocheting off an armadillo. -Name withheld for safety
Hey Lewis, This man's neighbour's wallet was burning a hole--in his brain apparently... -LilyKat
"A Tampa man forced his neighbor on a balcony at their posh downtown apartment tower before he microwaved the man's wallet and tried to start a fire, according to Tampa Fire Rescue officials."
*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News Archives
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS