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Saturday, June 25, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I know I have said before that I would stay out of the gun debate, but I just couldn't resist this story.

A taxpayer watchdog group called 'Open the Books' has just published a report which shows that there are now more non-military government employees who carry guns than there are U.S. Marines.

I know we as a country recently suffered a tragedy involving a mass shooting, and I am not going to argue against some reasonable gun control reform, but no one can deny the Olympic level of hypocrisy here.

The "Militarization of America" report found civilian agencies spent $1.48 billion on guns, ammunition, and military-style equipment between 2006 and 2014.

So who is carrying all of these firearms? Well, for example, the Food and Drug Administration includes 183 armed special agents. Health and Human Services now has a special division of armed Inspector General Agents.

The EPA spent $3.1 million on guns, ammo, and equipment, including drones, night vision, camouflage and other deceptive equipment, and body armor. In case they catch anybody dumping used motor oil in a river, or something.

Overall there are now over 200,000 non-military federal officers with arrest and firearm authority, carrying around military grade weapons and equipment, surpassing the 182,100 personnel who are actively serving in the U.S. Marines Corps.

Your government is trying to tell you that you, the citizenry, cannot be trusted with certain types of firearms and certain amounts of ammunition, meanwhile fielding a literal army of bureaucrats and pencil-pushers armed with pump-action and semi-automatic shotguns, semi-automatic M&P15s, and H&K 416 rifles.

Now don't you feel safer?


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*------------ How's That For Luck? ------------*

The Illinois lottery announced a man with the appropriate surname Gambles won the drawing for the second time -- playing the exact same numbers. Larry Gambles, 65, of Matteson, won a $1,050,000 Lucky Day Lotto jackpot prize by matching all five numbers in the June 7 drawing. Gambles said his numbers, 01-06-12-14-25, have proved lucky for him in the past -- including a previous lotto drawing. "Nine years ago, I won $50,000 playing the numbers from the jerseys of my high school basketball team. I've been playing the same numbers ever since. I can't believe they paid off again!" Gambles said. The retired school administrator offered some advice for other lottery jackpot hopefuls: "Pick your favorite numbers and stick with them. It worked for me!" Unfortunately for Gambles, since the state of Illinois still doesn't have a budget, he won't be getting paid off any time soon.


*--- Horses Pass DUI Checkpoint in Colorado ---*

Police in Colorado were met with a surprise when a group of people on horseback passed through a DUI checkpoint. Lakewood police shared photos of the three equestrian travelers and noted that even horses are required to adhere to the checkpoint. "Well, this was a first for a DUI checkpoint - but we are in Golden, so maybe we shouldn't be surprised..." they wrote in another tweet. The Lakewood police did not report arrests of any of the horseback riders they encountered on Wednesday. The Denver Post reported a 45-year-old Colorado man was arrested on suspicion of DUI while on horseback in 2013. I'm sure that arrest was in the interest of public safety and not revenue generation, because of all the drunk equitation related deaths.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Lewis, Maybe Mr. Akers just wanted a head on his beer. -Joe in NJ

Lewis, The original wise man saying is: Women with skirt up runs faster then man with pants down! and thats the truth! As always enjoy your news letter. -Tom Smith--Jamesport, NY

You mean that a big bag of air needs to be anchored down when the wind blows! Who'd a thunk of that! I hope that the party supply company is seeking damages. They are lucky that no children were inside to be severely injured or killed.
[If a big bag of air was that likely to get blown away, we would have lost TZ to a zephyr a long time ago.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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