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Saturday, November 28, 2009
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I found the neatest web page devoted to diners and diner
culture. Yes, apparently there is such a thing! The coolest
part of the page was a list of 'diner slang.'
Diner slang was popular in diners, luncheonettes and lunch
rooms from the 1920s until the 1970s. Although many of the
terms were created for fun and to lighten the stress of
the restaurant environment, having distinct names for menu
items helped the short order cooks (according to the web
page).
You've probably heard some of this in old movies. But I
found it so amusing I pulled some of the best slang to
create a little quiz for you! I've provided the answers
below, so let's see if you'd make a good Soup jockey.
Identify the following...
Paint it red
Java, Joe or a cup of mud
A blonde with sand
Shake one in the hay
Cackle fruit
Wreck 'em
Adam & Eve on a raft
On the hoof
Bloodhound in the Hay
Whistleberries
Frog sticks
Paint a bow-wow red
Irish turkey
Zeppelins in a fog
Burn one
Pin a rose on it
Burn one; drag it through the garden and pin a rose on it.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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*--------------- Diner Slang Answers ---------------*
Paint it red Put ketchup on an item
Java, Joe or a cup of mud Coffee
A blonde with sand Coffee with cream and sugar
Shake one in the hay Strawberry milkshake
Cackle fruit Eggs
Wreck 'em Scrambled eggs
Adam & Eve on a raft Two poached eggs on toast
On the hoof Any kind of meat cooked rare
Bloodhound in the Hay Hot dog and Sauerkraut
Whistleberries Baked beans
Frog sticks French fries
Paint a bow-wow red Gimme a hot dog with ketchup
Irish turkey Corned beef and cabbage
Zeppelins in a fog Sausages and mashed potatoes
Burn one Put a hamburger on the grill
Pin a rose on it Add onion to an order
Burn one; drag it through Hamburger with lettuce, tomato
the garden and pin a rose and onion
on it.
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--------- Turkey advice hotline has heard it all -----------
NAPERVILLE, Ill. - The longtime U.S. supervisor of the
Butterball Turkey Talk-Line says her job is to soothe
the nerves of harried Thanksgiving cooks. On Thanksgiving,
at least, Marty Van Ness is everyone's mother as she
dispenses sage (and savory) advice from Butterball's Talk-
Line headquarters in Naperville, Ill., the Milwaukee
Journal Sentinel reported Wednesday. Van Ness has been on
the Talk-Line for 18 years and says she has heard it all
in that span. "The most distressed calls are when someone
has mishandled the turkey," Van Ness told the newspaper.
"They call because they think they have a safety issue,
and they want me to tell them, 'You'll be fine.'" She
says she tells callers who have made too a big mess of
the Thanksgiving feast to salvage the meal that she
sympathizes, and wishes them better luck for next year.
"People are relieved they have someone to talk to who
will hear them, and not judge them," she told the Journal
Sentinel. "I would never tell them they're stupid. Every-
one makes mistakes."
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----------- Zoo selling reindeer poo necklaces -------------
BLOOMINGTON, Ill. - Officials at an Illinois zoo said the
facility's gift shops will soon be selling necklace
pendants made from dried reindeer dung. The Miller Park
Zoo in Bloomington said the Magical Reindeer Gem necklaces,
which go on sale Friday for $15 each, were inspired by tree
ornaments made from the same substance that went on sale
at the zoo last year, The (Bloomington) Pantagraph reported.
"We kept hearing from people who were buying the ornaments,
'Do you have any jewelry?'" said Susie Ohley, spokeswoman
for the Miller Park Zoological Society. "We thought we
would make them available for the big shopping day," she
said of the launch Friday, the largest shopping day of the
year. "It may be silly, but it not only brings in money
and support to the zoo, (but) it brings people smiles."
Ohley said the zoo expects to make as much as $16,500
from sales of the ornaments and necklaces during the
holiday season.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis your column gets shorter every week! What's up? -marie
[Well, marie, I'm not exactly a young man anymore. I don't
know how many men who are around that fifty mark that you've
known intimately, but when a man reaches a certain age a
few things don't perform with the virility that they used to.
Wait..are we talking about the same thing?]
I am hoping that the escape of the emails from the East
Anglia Climate Research Center will tell the world what
some of us already know: Human Cased climate change is just
baloney. It is a way for all the people who need a cause
to exert control over others to fill their needs. The only
problem is, the press is so invested in this global warming
scam that they can't report this story without embarrassing
themselves. So the lie will continue, costing trillions of
dollars and untold numbers of jobs, and the climate will do
whatever it does with or without out help. -Shelley
[Well, global warming is still a theory. It could be real.
Or it could be baloney. The real tragedy is what this could
do to retard the development of alternative energies.]
Lewis, I have been following the news of the EAU files
release and surprisingly you find very little information
in the Main stream media. Your article is longer than the
AP release. Now they believe that it was not done by
hackers but by an employee that was upset because the
information was being hidden from a Freedom of Information
petition filed in England. This just proves that those who
were attacking their opponents were just using the oldest
debate trick, if your proof is lacking, attack your opponent.
-Bill
[AP cannot speculate. I am not constrained by that limitation.]
Lewis, The people in Government have said many times they
were looking for alternative fuels. I hold a Patent Pending
number 5489 for a jet engine that uses water for fuel. I
have written the Government four times. I have been ignored
except for the Department of Energy that wrote to inform me
that it was not their department. Do the oil companies have
that much control?
[Nope. My opinion would be that if you have a patent for an
engine that ran exclusively on water you would be a multi-
millionaire, if not billionaire. The laws of thermodynamics
can be real sticklers. But keep working on it!]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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