Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Breasts, penises and humping couples...they're all part of snack time at a middle school in Australia. At least they were.

The Australian school official who handed out chocolates shaped like private parts and copulating couples to children resigned.

The parents of students at Woodberry Public School in Woodberry, north of Sydney, said they were shocked when they spotted the provocatively shaped candies at a Mother's Day event at the school.

"I had to do a double-take," said Cassandra Lacey, whose two sons attend the school. "Every single chocolate was to do with sex. This was in the school hall, on the school grounds and in school time."

A Department of Education and Communities spokesman said the chocolates were not provided by school officials. "The school says that the gifts were prepared by parents, for parents, and the school had no knowledge of them until some of the mothers complained," he said.

So the parents were shocked because the naughty candy was supposed to be for them, not their children. Makes sense. But it was Mother's Day, after all. How else are kids supposed to learn where babies come from?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Lego tower reaches 104 feet, 8 inches tall
SEOUL -- Lego officials in South Korea announced the crown prince of Denmark placed the final brick on the world's largest Lego tower, measuring 104 feet, 8 inches tall. Lego Korea said the tower, which was built in Seoul during the weekend by 4,000 young contest winners (with lots of time on their hands), was planned to mark the 80th anniversary of the Lego group. The final brick defeated the previous world record of 103 feet, 8 inches, which was set in France.

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Son-in-law finds lost ring after 43 years
CHAPMAN, Ala. -- An Alabama woman who lost her class ring more than 40 years ago said she was shocked when her son-in-law found it after less than 10 minutes of searching. Betty Black said she thought she would never see the Georgiana High School class ring again after she lost it while playing softball in Chapman 43 years ago, but her son-in-law, Wendell Watkins, decided to take another look at the plot of land, which he now owns. "I walked out on the land and tried to figure out how the softball field was laid out," Watkins said. "I found the pitchers mound and then figured out where the backstop was. I was out there for 10 minutes and I saw something that looked out of place in the dirt. I yelled to my kids, I found it. They were like, 'no way, not that fast.'" However, Watkins said he brushed the dirt off the ring and soon positively identified it as his mother-in-law's long-lost keepsake. "He put his fingers in his pocket, and brought out the ring, I almost had a seizure and I was crying," Black said of when Watkins gave her the ring back.

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*-- READER COMMENTS --*

Gun safes, trigger locks, etc. Has no one ever thought about education? I was taught proper firearm usage and respect for firearms at the age of eight. I could shoot and do all the necessary things you do with firearms. The douche bags of today go nuts at any mention of firearms. They are like any other tool. They need to be close when you need them. -Bear
[There are different circumstances for different people. In urban areas you can't walk out in the backyard and shoot. In Chicago, for example, it was against the law to even own a gun up until very recently. Plus, kids are stupid. Even if you warn a child the stove is hot more than half the time he or she will still touch it. Precautions have to be taken.]


A guy from Mexico driving without a liceense? Now, that DOES take balls! I'm sure it happens here, but I guess they're just not big enough to be hanginng outside of the vehicle. -Guy R, Houston
[It's probably the same phenomenon as the guy with a small package buying a sports car. If you don't have 'em you try to compensate with bumper-nutz.]


Your comments about the gun safe in the closet were the most intelligent thing you've ever written: Thank you.
[You're welcome.]


Lewis, I have to say that I agree with Stan. If you have a gun in your home for protection (I don't and do not want one), keeping it locked up and unloaded isn't going to help. If someone breaks into your home, they're not going to wait while you unlock and load your gun. -Chris
[What about when the revolution comes and the Gestapo try to enforce martial law?]


*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do? Send comments and questions to: lewis@gophercentral.com