Saturday, February 25, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Talk about your bad day. 25-year-old John Knight was driving his Volvo station wagon down Church Street through San Francisco's Noe Valley neighborhood at about 10:30 in the morning when he came across a strange scene.

A heavyset woman stood wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by medical personnel.

Suddenly, the woman whipped the blanket off and threw it at the medics, revealing that she was completely naked, Knight said. Then she turned around and noticed Knight, still stopped and now shocked behind the wheel, about 50 feet away.

"She walks directly to me," he said. "She walks up the hood of my car and she begins stomping on my windshield, completely naked."

The woman, who Knight estimated to weigh about 250 pounds, cracked his windshield with the first stomp. She got a couple more in before plainclothes officers pulled her off and hand-cuffed her as she screamed, Knight said.

Apparently the woman had stripped on a commuter train earlier in the morning for no good reason, and it was pure coincidence that Knight pulled up to that intersection at that exact moment.

"They (the insurance company) didn't really know what to make of it." Knight said.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Police arrest fake Denny's manager --*
MADISON, Wis. - Police in Madison, Wis., said they arrested a man who claimed to have been sent by Denny's corporate offices and made himself a meal in the kitchen. Police said James Summers, 52, of Madison entered the restaurant around 4:30 p.m. Tuesday and told workers he had been sent by the corporate office and was immediately taking over the position of general manager, WISC-TV, Madison, reported Thursday. Workers said Summers began making himself a cheeseburger and fries in the restaurant's kitchen while the current manager phoned her supervisors. The manager called 911 when she confirmed Summers had not been sent by the company and he was arrested while walking near the Denny's. Summers told police the incident must have been the result of a paperwork mix-up, but officers said they confirmed he had not been sent by Denny's officials. Police said Summers was also carrying a stun gun and did not have a permit. He was arrested on charges of fraud, possession of an electric weapon, disorderly conduct and possession of drug paraphernalia.

*-- Woman pleads guilty to library thefts --*
SAN DIEGO - A California woman accused of stealing about 2,000 items from various libraries and selling them online pleaded guilty to felony burglary. San Diego County Deputy District Attorney Marnie McGee said Maria Nater, 45, pleaded guilty Tuesday and will likely receive a probation sentence at an April 25 hearing, KSWB-TV, San Diego, reported Thursday. Authorities said an investigation was opened when workers at a Carlsbad library noticed significant book loss and a search of Nater's Vista home turned up thousands of missing library books and DVDs, worth an estimated $5,400, with some packaged to be shipped. Nater, who was arrested in September, admitted taking the books from libraries in Carlsbad, Oceanside and San Diego. She said she was selling the pilfered items on Amazon.com.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
God, you are a RIOT! My favorite thing is readers comments and your reaction to them. No matter how bad my mood, you always make me laugh (nothing personal)! -Patty
[My wife says the same thing...but she usually says it in the bedroom.]

Lewis, you wrote, "the correct answer is Mexicans." Actually the correct answer is "Puritans".
[Or worse...Mexican Puritans.]

Really, Lewis, the British aren't bad cooks, it's just that they have been cooking since before fire was discovered and they haven't updated all of the cookbooks yet! -Patti

Lewis, you need a "Like" button on your comments. Some of your answers make me snort beverages right out of my nose! -Therese

Regarding those lugers - presumably they'd want to protect the family jewels from frigid weather conditions. Were they wearing thermal underwear? -Mary
[Underwear increases wind resistance.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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