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Saturday, September 4, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Now this is just bad luck anyway you look at it. Police in
Lancaster, Ohio responded to complaints a crazy person
obstructing traffic. When they arrived on the scene they
found Daniel Wood, a 31 year-old homeless man, running
through the street.
Apparently Mr. Wood had been inhaling vapors from a can
of chemical cleaner in an attempt to get high. A bad choice
that day. When the two officers chased him down and wrestled
him to the ground he began resisting arrest by attempting to
bite them and lashing out with his feet. Another bad choice,
because the officers then proceeded to taser him.
Wood immediately burst into flames that covered his torso.
The officers were forced to drop their weapons and beat out
the flames. So the rule appears to be, don't saturate your-
self with an inflammable aerosol if you are going to do
something that is going to get you tased.
I don't think the officers would have been blamed, in this
instance, if they beat the flames out with their batons.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+----------- More Bizarre September Holidays ------------+
September 11 is No News Is Good News Day
September 12 is National Pet Memorial Day and National
Chocolate Milkshake Day
September 13 is Defy Superstition Day
September 14 is National Cream-filled Donut Day
September 15 is Felt Hat Day
September 16 is Stay Away From Seattle Day and Collect
Rocks Day
September 17 is National Apple Dumpling Day
September 18 is National Play-doh Day
September 19 is National Butterscotch Pudding Day
September 20 is National Punch Day
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-------- U.K. man made up to $36K per year begging --------
LINCOLN, England - A British man who posed as homeless and
earned up to $36,038 per year while collecting government
benefits was sentenced to pay a $154 fine. Daniel Terry,
31, who received $123 in weekly government assistance,
pleaded guilty to a charge of begging after admitting to
using a sleeping bag and a blanket to imply to passersby
in Lincoln, England, that he was homeless, the Daily Mail
reported. Terry, who was arrested last month during a
crackdown on area vagrancy, was found to not be homeless
and admitted to police that he collected up to $77 on a
weekday and up to $154 per day on weekends. A spokesman
for the Tax Payers Alliance called the $154 fine a
"disgrace" and described Terry as a "charlatan" who was
"earning more money begging than many taxpayers do from
honest, hard-work."
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-------- Cat lost during move, found in box spring --------
SURREY, British Columbia - A Canadian woman said her 14-
year-old cat, which disappeared during a recent move,
turned out to have spent five days hiding inside a box
spring. Anne Green said Augustus the ginger tom disappear-
ed Aug. 5 while movers were packing up her family's old
Edmonton, Alberta, home for a move to Surrey, British
Columbia, The Vancouver Sun reported. Green said her
family searched their old neighborhood for days and the
movers checked the contents of their truck, but there
was no sign of the orange cat. Green said she decided to
search the truck herself when it arrived in Surrey eight
days after it was packed. "Al, the driver, got out of the
truck and asked if we'd found him. I said no and asked if
I could walk into the van and look for him," she said. "I
didn't think it would do any good but I called his name
and then I heard this little meow. I shouted 'He's here'
and they all came running and we found him in the box
spring, which had been completely wrapped in plastic."
Green said Augustus has since taken to the box spring as
his favorite hiding spot.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
What about placed where they don't pick up recyclables? I'm
already and asshole, but am I a bigger asshole for tossing
my beer cans in with everything else? -Jay
[Yes. I'm sorry. I'm afraid you are.]
Hallo Lewis. Here in South Australia (not the rest of
Australia), we used to have a .05 cent deposit on all glass
and aluminium drink containers. 5 cents is not much and we
soon started seeing the containers thrown out of cars and
littering the roadside again. In its great wisdom, our State
Government decided that the deposit should be increased to
.10c. Once again the streets are clean and it is not unusual
to see kids and oldies searching through bins at shops and
pubs. Ten cans for a buck ain't bad. -JB
[And it doesn't cost anybody anything. The ten cents is built
into the price of the beverage, so if you want to get the
money back all you have to do it return the container.]
The answer is no! If you earn a million dollars a year, 90
percent of it would be discretionary. But for the guy who
earns forty thousand a year, none of it is discretionary --
he needs every penny of it just for subsistence. If you
subtract out food, non-luixury clothing, medicine, simple
living expenses, and taxed the rest evenly, you might find
that 300,000 for the million dollar guy might be too little,
and 12,000 for the 40,000 guy way too much. -David
[That depends on how you live. There are people who call
themselves 'freegans' who pride themselves on living on a
lot less than that. What if you are a freegan who makes
$40,000 a year but only uses 20 or 15? Should he (or she)
be taxed more because he has so much more disposable income?]
As one of those kids that collected bottles for the spending
money, I also babysat, walked dogs, housesat, etc at 12, got
a job in a restaurant at 15 and worked full time while going
to college. Kids these days are given everything! They
don't have to work, when I made my son get a job at 16, first
he grumbled then all of my friends were like "oh, I don't want
my kids to work, I want them to concentrate on school." My
son is a hard worker and is learning to allocate his time
properly, everyone of my friends kids are lazy, and refuse to
do anything for themselves or pay for anything. It is creating
a me, me society... Collecting bottles is beneath me!
-Teresa in San Diego
[I hope you paid taxes on all that extra income.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
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