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Saturday, February 5, 2011
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Do you want to hear something really bizarre? Let me tell
you about my wife.
My wife told me that she didn't want anything for Valentine's
Day. She said it was just a Hallmark holiday and that she
knows how much I love her. So I haven't bought anything...yet.
Sounds easy, right? Well here's the thing. Last year for our
Anniversary she told me that very same thing and naturally
I did nothing, but when push came to shove she pulled the
old passive-aggressive guilt-trip on me.
After that came her birthday and again she said the same
thing. But this time I did buy her a gorgeous pendant neck-
lace and she yelled at me for spending money on her after
she said she didn't want anything.
So now, Valentine's Day is next week and I am in a bit of a
quandary about what to do. Apparently the trick is to do
something special without spending any money. And I think I
have discovered a solution.
I recently found a company called Snapily.com that will take
your personal photos and turn them into a unique, lenticular
card.
You've seen these things before. It's sort of like a holo-
graph. You hold it one way to see one image, and tilt it
slightly to see another.
I have a photograph of she and I while we were still dating,
about [??] years ago, and another one of use from last year
in almost the same pose.
It will make the perfect, unique, little, heartfelt gift that
women go nuts over, and it only costs 99 cents plus a couple
of bucks for delivery.
I can't lose!
If you'd like to look into it yourself the link is right here:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14888/c/447/a/499
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER:
http://twitter.com/MyBizarreNews
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+------------ More Bizarre February Holidays -------------+
February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over
Spilled Milk Day
February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day
February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your
Sweet Day
February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to
Heart Day
February 15 is National Gum Drop Day
February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day
February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day
February 18 is National Battery Day
February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day
February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day
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----- Pilot falls asleep during passenger flight -----
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A pilot for an airline based in
Sweden fell asleep during a flight from Denmark to
Sweden while his co-pilot was using the lavatory.
The Scandinavian Airlines System Group pilot wrote
in his report he fell asleep during the Copenhagen
to Stockholm flight because he was "extremely tired"
from having only slept four 4 the previous night,
Swedish news agency Tidningarnas Telegrambyra reported
Thursday. The pilot said he fell asleep while his co-
pilot was using the toilet and the co-pilot had to buzz
the door several times before he woke up and was able
to open the cockpit. The flight last year was kept on
course by the plane's autopilot. An SAS manager said the
airline is not planning any disciplinary action against
the pilot.
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------ Strange floating 'blob' found off Florida ------
SARASOTA, Fla. - Scientists say an underwater blob of
goo off the Florida Panhandle coast isn't oil, but
rather a mass of dead plankton, algae and bacteria.
The underwater mass of dead sea life, at least three
feet thick and spanning 2/3 of a mile off to the coast,
appears to be growing as microscopic algae and bacteria
get trapped in it and die, the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald-
Tribune reported Wednesday. Scientists investigating
whether oil from last year's Deepwater Horizon disaster
was a factor in the creation of the blob say tests so
far have found no sign of oil. "It seems to be a combi-
nation of algae and bacteria," David Hollander of the
University of South Florida said, describing the sub-
stance as toxic and "extraordinarily sticky." Research-
ers say they are not ruling out a possible connection
to the oil spill that gummed up that part of the gulf
for 30 to 40 days and pumped 186 million to 227 million
gallons of crude into the ocean. "We don't know all the
ramifications, the implications of a spill like this,"
Hollander said.
------------------------------------------------------------
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I'll bet you get a lot of comments wondering how that woman
who got the sperm in the yogurt knew immediately what it
was. -WV Dave
[Not all women are as repressed as your wife apparently is.]
Lewis, of all the email newsletters I read, yours is one of
them! --Shelby
[I am undeserving of such praise. No, really, I am.]
Lewis; What was the guy doing while the nude cleaning lady
was ripping his wife off of all her jewelry? Napping? If
you hired a nude cleaning lady wouldn't you be watching what
you paid for? It would be rather difficult to hide, um, the
larger items she took, however, smaller items, I suspect,
could be hidden somewhere. His wife may not want those items
back, lol. -Wes
[You want to be careful where you stuff those sharply cut
diamonds! As a side note...you can clean jewelry with tooth-
paste!]
Lewis - about clean underwear after an accident - didn't Bill
Cosby say if you saw it coming, first you say it, then you do
it, then the underwear isn't clean anymore? -Ed
I am another reader who can say I have been reading your
newsletter for as long as I can remember. Based on my age
and medication, that is about 15 minutes ago. Keep up the
good work! ?Evan
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
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Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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