Bizarre News - June 14, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A Florida man was arrested on a prostitution charge after he allegedly offered to exchange some green for sex during a reverse prostitution sting by the Daytona Beach Police Department.

The thing is, the only green that Alonzo Liverman had was a salad from Applebee's.

The 29-year-old wasn't the only one to get busted and the DBPD arrested nine other men, including former Florida State basketball player Tim Pickett.

During an encounter with an undercover female officer, Liverman replied "I got a salad" after she said, "I'm hungry, you got food?"

According to the arrest report, the officer offered to give Liverman a "blow job for a salad." Liverman consented to the deal and asked, "You ready to go?"

Liverman was sentenced to two days in jail and fined $500 after pleading no contest to the misdemeanor charge.

That's a lot of salads.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Alaska mom wants her daughter's middle name changed to 'Awesome' --*
JUNEAU, Alaska (UPI) - An Alaska mom thinks her 2-year-old daughter deserves a name thats as "Awesome" as her personality. Lisa Flores, of Juneau, Alaska, has asked a judge to change her daughter's name from Viviana Contea Flores to Viviana Awesome Flores. Flores, 36, recently told the Juneau Empire that she got the idea from her 13-year-old son, Dominic, who was 11 when he suggested that his unborn baby sister should have a creative middle name. "The big reason why I wanted to do this is because when I got pregnant, she was a surprise, and the father didn't stay in the picture for very long," Flores said. "My son was very supportive, and I thought it was a good opportunity to give her the name he chose and to recognize my son for all of the help he gave." "'My middle name is Awesome,' that's what I want her to say," Dominic said. "It's just one of those childhood things, like I always wanted my name to be Awesome." Dominic and his mother originally discussed the name Danger, but decided that "it's so much to live up to," Flores told Good Morning America. ("Danger" happens to be the middle name Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong gave his son Jakob. But when she chose the name "Contea," her son was disappointed. "He was pretty sad about it and I've been working to change it since," Flores said. The Flores family has a hearing scheduled for July 7.


*-- Man got his penis stuck in a pipe while painting in the nude --*
QUANZHOU, China (UPI) - Excuses, excuses, excuses... A Chinese man who got his penis stuck in an air-conditioning pipe waited two days before seeking medical attention because he was embarrassed. Lian Tien told doctors that he slipped and got himself stuck in the pipe while painting in the nude in Quanzhou. The 61-year-old "did not think people would believe him" and only went to the hospital after he experienced swelling and developed a fever. "I thought that no-one would believe me and I tried everything I could think of to get the damned thing off once it got stuck," Tien said, according to India Today. "I cut it from the wall and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down. I went to sleep thinking that if I relaxed it would slide off. But it didn't. It began to get red and inflamed. I was worried that I would get a terrible infection." Doctors were unable to treat Tien so they called in the fire brigade. It took firefighters four hours remove the pipe from around Tien's genitals.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
I am glad my dog doesn't know how to drive a stick. -Edgar
[I can't even train my dog to fetch drinks out of the fridge.]

Lewis; Isn't it an Australian law that a person has to be drinking when driving a motorized beer cooler? -Wes
[No, but it helps.]

Recently you wrote - "While I appreciate your clever sarcasm the bottom line is that police are SUPPOSED to protect citizens, not grenade babies." The courts have ruled it isn't the job of the police to protect citizens. Look at a police car, and you don't see "To protect and serve" anymore. -Danny
[Right you are. That is why I emphasized SUPPOSED. The purpose of police is to enforce and uphold the law. That does not necessarily include protecting the public. I wrote an issue of BN on this very topic a year or two ago. If I can find it I will re-run it next week.]

Now, Lewis, you make your living using the English language, and by now, should know the difference between bad and badly as used as an adjective and adverb. You remember, adverbs modify active verbs, so if you are feeling badly, maybe you burned your fingers, or have numbness is your hands. However, if you feel bad about something, you are describing an emotion. I would guess the police in the grenade story felt bad, and not heavens forbid, added feeling badly to their crimes. -Michelle
[Nope, the story actually impaired my ability to effectively feel.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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