Saturday, July 16, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Unemployment is over 9 percent. And some people on the news say that this number is low, as many people have simply given up looking for work, or are working part time jobs, having given up on full time employment.

But one man is not about to become a statistic.

28-year-old Mork Encino of Utah hasn't had a job in years. He admits he's "generally unskilled" so he has created the oddest job for himself.

Encino is offering himself as human prey for anyone interested in hunting him. Anyone with $10,000 to spare. Despite the price tag, Encino is optimistic.

"I'm looking for a true Money Bags, okay? 10K is nothing to these boys. They leave tips on restaurant checks like that. They drop that type of scratch just because. They'll pay that money just to rub it in my FACE and show me how meaningless it truly is to the likes of them," he writes on his web page.

Encino says he's not willing to die for the cash. Instead, he's hoping his website will land him a normal job. How, exactly, he doesn't specify.

"I'm hoping someone will offer me a better opportunity than being shot in the face," he writes. Apparently he doesn't know how popular gay porn is.

Not that he isn't willing. Because for an extra two thousand you can hunt him in the nude.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Handcuffs don't win at job interview --*
TORONTO - Bringing a cockatoo or handcuffs to a job interview is a guaranteed failure, an international job placement company in Toronto said. The Robert Half firm published a summary of worst-case scenarios from hiring managers around the world about interviews gone wrong. Among the managers' bad memories was an applicant who "came in for an interview with a cockatoo on his shoulder." Other managers recounted interview shocks when a candidate sent his sister to apply for him. "One candidate sang all of her responses to interview questions," one manager said. Another manager said he was taken aback by an apparent show of determination by a job candidate who "handcuffed himself to the desk during the interview," the agency said in a release. Another applicant doomed his job chances by saying too much about his plans. "One individual said we had nice benefits, which was good because he was going to need to take a lot of leave in the next year," a manager told the firm.

*-- Corpse forms 'I' in Ohio cheer photo --*
NEWARK, Ohio - An Ohio woman said a picture taken with her deceased father's open casket forming the "I" in an "O-H-I-O" cheer is a tribute to his love for the Buckeyes. Juli Miracle, who arranged for the picture to be taken after the July 1 death of her father, Roy Miracle, said the picture was a tribute to her father's fun-loving ways and his love for Ohio State University, The Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch reported Thursday. "I didn't do it for anybody but Dad and I," Juli Miracle said of the picture, which quickly spread across the Internet. "To me, it was the best honor and tribute to do for him and OSU." The Rev. Mark Chow, who presided over the funeral at First United Methodist Church in Newark, said the photo was a fitting tribute to Roy Miracle. "He was a fun-loving man who loved to tease," Chow said.

+-- READER COMMENTS --+
I'll bet the police involved in the San Bernadino atrocity received no punish for what they did either. -Jay
[The last thing I read they were still on the police force.
You can find the story online by searching the victim's name.]

Obviously the drunk in NYC deserved the tasering more than the stop sign guy in the small town. My guess is that the small town cop is a bully and knew he could get away with it. I'm thinking the police in urban areas have better training and more accountability to superiors than the little tin gods in rural America. -Lily

Hi Lewis. I am a big time opponent of tasers. Since our city began issuing them, some of the police seem to have become taser-happy. They treat them as if they are squirt guns not something potentially lethal. Last year they repeatedly tasered a drunk guy for peeing on the side of a building. on the bright side,the officers that I have always respected the most refuse to carry them. They still rely on being good at their jobs instead of treating us as targets in some 3-d video game. Thanks for doing such a great job. -Justin
[Tasers were conceived as a non-lethal alternative to guns, and in that respect I support their use. I would rather be tased than shot in the chest with a 9mm. However, I agree with you that their use has grown way beyond this capacity. As you point out, cops seem to use them whenever they want a little compliance. And you are also right that they can be lethal, as exemplified by the story in the last issue.]

To tell you the truth, Lewis, if the man in this story had struck the woman with a frying pan, he would have probably been tasered like the guy in the San Bernadino mountains was. She assaults her boyfriend with a frying pan and it is called "slapstick", but if he had assaulted her, it would have been "assault with a deadly weapon" at the least. But I still love your column! -Clark
[Are you suggesting there is a dual standard for men and women when is comes to law enforcement? You should watch the video below...]

Woman Being Tazed

+-- END OF READER COMMENTS --+
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