Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
The next time you have a pair of nail clippers or a bottle of shampoo confiscated at the airport, consider what happened (or more specifically, didn't happen) to passengers at New York's Kennedy Airport recently.
Passengers arriving at JFK on an international flight were allowed to exit the busy hub without going through Customs.
Airline and security officials let travelers from Cancun, Mexico, out of the airport without having their passports or bags checked.
A 34-year-old man who had been vacationing in Cancun told The News he was able to go from the plane to the baggage claim area without having to endure Customs and Border Protection security checks.
"It's absolutely absurd," the man said. "To think that anyone could be walking off of that plane and just get right into the city."
The man said he even approached a Transportation Security Administration agent near the exit, but was told he was free to go.
"I told them what happened and asked them what should I do," the passenger said. "They said to me 'That's fine, you're OK. Go ahead.'"
But apparently it wasn't okay, because hours after the plane landed the man said airline officials contacted him and pleaded with him, and presumably other passengers, to return to Kennedy and complete the customs process.
Because THAT would catch drug mules and terrorists.
I wish I could have heard that conversation; "Please re-pack your bags including any drugs, weapons or other contraband you may have been trying to smuggle into the United States, and return to the airport to go through customs and security.
I wonder how that worked out for them.
A nearly identical incident involving another flight from Cancun occurred in November.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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They Take Their Shovels Seriously in New Jersey
You never rub another man's rhubarb and you don't touch another woman's snow shovel. At least not in Newark. And not after a 2-foot snowfall. According to Newark police, a 38-year-old victim told officers he found a shovel on the ground outside a neighbor's home. As he dug away at the snow, however, he was confronted by a female neighbor who claimed the shovel belonged to her. The man returned the shovel, but while walking back to his home, he was again accosted by the woman and three men, one of whom pointed a gun at the victim's head. At the woman's command, the assailant fired a single shot at the victim, striking him in the buttocks. The victim attempted to grab the gun, but was struck in the mouth by a second woman during the ensuing struggle. He then fled back to his home, while the group of attackers fled in a vehicle. There is no report of what happened to the shovel.
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Because This Kind of Thing Happens in Puerto Rico
BARCELONETA - A 31-year-old Puerto Rican poker fan who died recently was treated to his hobby one last time when his body was seated at a card table during his wake. The family of Henry Rosario Martinez, 31, contacted the Eternal Light Funeral Home in Barceloneta after his death and asked that the man's remains be embalmed, dressed and seated at a poker table during his wake. Martinez's wake included poker games with the corpse seated at the table and friends and family posing for pictures with the deceased. "I want him to be remembered as a happy person because he was always like that," mother Sonia Martinez said. Wakes featuring the remains of deceased arranged in lifelike poses are becoming increasingly common in Puerto Rico, with recent examples including a paramedic posed in the back of an ambulance and a man posed at a table playing dominoes. [I would hate to be posed doing what I enjoyed doing most at my own wake.]
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*------ READER COMMENTS ------*
I hope someone in prison helps that idiot see the errors of his ways. I could pull the switch when it comes to cruelty to animals and kids. There's no reason for it. -Lucille
[Well, let's not get carried away. I know plenty of kids who could use a good beatin'.]
they say that kids who like to torture animals grow up to be psychopaths. I think the guy you wrote about in the last issue is one shock treatment away from going on a shooting spree.
[I think shock treatments are what they give you AFTER you go on a shooting spree (and they put you in a crazy hospital) but I know where you're going with this.]
It's nice to know that Americans aren't the only assholes who try to kill themselves in creative ways. Although it would have been better if a couple of those Canadian bungee ski-jumpers had killed themselves (not that I hate Canadians or anything...but it would have made us look better).
*---- END OF READER COMMENTS ----*