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Bizarre News - August 30, 2014
Greetings fellow Bizarros:Dude, don't bogart the tighty whities! So getting drugs in prison isn't easy. If it were there wouldn't be such a thing as toilet wine. But inmates still manage to get drugs in sometimes, and they get pretty clever about it, too.
One Kentucky inmate lit upon the idea of soaking his underwear in methadone.
Michael Jones, 55, was let out of Jessamine County Detention Center on a court-ordered furlough to attend a funeral. He must have thought he was pretty clever when he came up with the idea to smuggle the drugs back into prison in his underwear.
Police say Jones cut up the briefs and shared them with his fellow inmates, including 33-year-old Corey McQueary. McQueary must have gotten more than his fair share of the briefs because officers found him unresponsive in his cell. He was pronounced dead later that day. An autopsy report has not been released, but police suspect he died of an opiate overdose.
"When somebody comes in the facility either from a furlough or any other occurrence, they're searched, their clothing's searched, strip searched, any other type of search that we feel is necessary," prison jailer Jon Sallee said. "If something is in their garment and it's colorless, odorless, it would be very difficult, almost impossible, to detect from the naked eye."
My question is, of course, how are the drugs consumed? The only way I can imagine is chewing or sucking on the underwear. Now I have never been a drug user, but I can't imagine the craving would be so bad that I would chew on some man's sweaty undies. Now if it was a women's prison...
Bizarrely,
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Email Lewis*-- Florida woman calls 911 repeatedly while drunk looking for lost dog --*JUPITER, Fla. (UPI) - A South Florida woman's search for her lost pooch landed her behind bars. The Sun-Sentinel reports 38-year old Rebekah Altieri took her dog to a Jupiter, Fla., bar. The dog then took off when Altieri got drunk. So she did what any dog owner does; she called police to report the dog missing. Here's the catch: Jupiter Police were already at the bar. A bartender had called them to report an intoxicated patron. That intoxicated patron? Altieri. The arrest report said she was upset about her dog running away and started throwing chairs. That's when the bartender carried her out of the bar and tried to call her a cab, which she reportedly refused, Jupiter police said. When police got to the bar, they tried to get her to call a cab or a friend for a ride home. But instead Altieri called 911. Officers told her not to call 911 again, but the arrest report shows she did anyway. Police were not able to find the lost dog and the report shows she was too drunk to give a description of her precious pooch. She was charged with drunk and disorderly conduct and misuse of 911.
*-- Red-haired Scot uses 'Ginger Discount Card' to get better prices --*ABERDEEN, Scotland (UPI) - A red-haired Scot has been saving money using a well-made, but obviously fake, "Ginger Discount Card" for over four years. When Richard Macrae turned 26, a friend gave him a laminated orange card with his picture and personal information below the words "Ginger Discount Card." Four years later, Macrae, who's grown to resemble a red-headed Guy Fawkes, regularly uses the card to save money on everything from drinks to transportation. "I ask if they do the ginger discount, and when they look confused I slide across my card," the 30-year-old explained to The Scotsman. "Usually everyone gets the humor behind it, some people look confused and wonder if it's real which is always a laugh, but most get the joke. I've saved a couple of hundred pounds maybe, with money off booze, taxis, food and club entries -- over four years it fairly builds up." Macrae says he never asks for a discount once the joke has been told, but it "opens folk up to a bit of banter back and forth," adding, "any money off is always handy." "I thought it was really funny and unique as I had never seen anyone try to use something like that before," said charmed 24-year-old server Kirsty Davidson of the Illicit Still. "I gave him 20 per cent food and drink discount as he was also in for food at the time. I decided it was all in good fun and he was a bit of a chancer."
*-- READER COMMENTS --*Lewis, that corn flakes story reminds me of a story I read in a Jay Leno book about a mother who found a half-smoked marijuana cigarette in can of Bumble Bee tuna. I doubt she buys Bumble Bee any more, either. -Chris
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I don't know how much a half a joint costs...but it can't be more than a can of tuna. Might have been a good deal.]
Lewis, Back in those days owning a sword would have been equivalent to owning a gun, and the apostles had swords so I would have to say the Jesus associated with people that owned guns. So I would go with the assumption he voted Republican as well. Just Sayin! -Gary
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And which apostles were usually packin' heavy? I forget.]
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