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Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Considering the drug discussion that has dominated Bizarre
News the past few issues, the following story is particularly
relevant. The pot advocates seem to think that certain drugs
should be legalized and taxed just like alcohol, tobacco and
porn (or...the holy trinity, as I like to call it). Their
argument is that marijuana is no more harmful than alcohol
and even less harmful and addictive than cigarettes.
And they might even sway more opinion than they do if it
weren't for stories like this one.
An alleged drug dealer in Minnesota called the police to
his home after his stash of marijuana and $3,200 in cash
were stolen.
Once the police showed up the man conceded that the thief
had made off with his marijuana stash, breaking into a locked
closet to complete the deed.
An officer also reported scraps of paper with names, amounts
and weights in another closet.
He questioned the homeowner, who then allegedly said the
burglar made off with baggies of marijuana and $3,200 cash.
"He also implied that his drug dealing was all right,
stating, 'I just sell to my friends,'" said the police
report.
Well, in that case let me just go ahead and take the cuffs
off.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER:
http://twitter.com/MyBizarreNews
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+----------- Even More Bizarre July Holidays ------------+
July 21 is National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day
July 22 is Ratcatcher's Day
July 23 is National Vanilla Ice Cream Day
July 24 is Amelia Earhart Day
July 25 is Threading The Needle Day
July 26 is All Or Nothing Day
July 27 is Take Your Pants For A Walk Day
July 28 is National Milk Chocolate Day
July 29 is Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day
July 30 is National Cheesecake Day
July 31 is Parent's Day
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-------- Judge orders wall in feuding couple's home --------
NEW YORK - A New York judge ordered a couple to divide
their home with a wall but an attorney for one half of
the couple says they already live "like there was a wall."
Pinchs and Nechama Gold, an Orthodox Jewish couple, have
been married for 21 years but Nechama Gold says her
husband verbally abuses her and their five children, the
New York Post reported. Judge Eric Prus Thursday ordered
the Golds to divide their 3,000-square-foot home in two
while the divorce proceeds -- giving them two weeks to
decided where to put the wall or leaving it up to the
court to make the decision, the newspaper said. Abe
Konstam, an attorney for Pinchs Gold, told the Post:
"They've been living like there was a wall up for two
years now. This just helps them completely avoid each
other." Pinchs Gold alleges his wife has exiled him from
their bedroom and he has had to sleep in the dining room
for two years, the newspaper said. After the judge direct-
ed the couple to put up a wall in the house, Nechama
Gold's lawyer, Brian Perskin, said: "It's a large house,
so I think we can come up with some sort of agreement.
But she wants him out." Pinchs has come up with a plan
that would give his wife and their children about 700 more
square feet than he would get, the Post reported.
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--------- Canadian firefighters drink rescued beer ---------
OLIVER, British Columbia - Volunteer firefighters in a
Canadian town found themselves in hot water for quenching
their thirst with beer they rescued from a fire they
extinguished. The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported
Tuesday the entire fire department in Oliver, British
Columbia -- more than 30 members -- were suspended for
two weeks after it was determined they drank at least
one of the six beer kegs they removed from a burning hotel
in May. Initially, just two volunteer firefighters were
suspended and the chief took a leave of absence. But Mayor
Pat Hampson said a closer look revealed a wider problem.
"The fire department approached us and said, 'Look, we've
made a stupid mistake here, and we feel we should all
take responsibility for it, even the members who aren't
at the incident,' just to show solidarity amongst them-
selves," he said. The suspensions will be staggered, so
to speak, so the town isn't left without fire protection.
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of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E!
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hi Lewis, how do you like our conflict resolution method here
in Canada? "Marika De Florio is using her bare breasts to win
a feud with her neighbours. The 56-year-old says she is sick
and tired of her neighbours' grandson driving a loud all-
terrain vehicle for hours on her quiet Seeley's Bay street.
She has found a solution. De Florio has discovered that if
she goes out topless, to the horror of the boy's grandparents,
they will take the child into the house." -Doug
[Now that is a good way to resolve a neighborhood dispute!]
Did you know that 69 percent of statistics are made up on
the spot?
Hello Lewis. I read your column every day and enjoy it. I
am 80 y/o and have smoked marijuana for over 40 years. Many
years ago I tried a few other drugs, but never much. Pro-
bition of alchol did not work, just caused crime. Making
pot legal would stop the drug wars from Mexico. There are
over a million people in prison for nothing more than smoking
a joint. As usual the fed gov is completely out of touch
with the American people. -Nevin
But how many marijuana smokers go on to become editors of
bizarre news? Isn't that the quintessential statistic that
we need? -Hermit
[I refuse to answer on the grounds that I might incriminate
myself.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
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Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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