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Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I am the last person who thinks that the police should have
have more power. While I think cops do a hard job and they
often have to face the worst aspects in our society, I con-
sider them a necessary evil. I don't think anybody should
have the power to stop a citizen and point a gun at them,
however somebody has to deal with criminals and psychopaths,
so we reluctantly give that power to police (and other
agencies).
But it's a power they have to have. If a maniac is threatening
deadly violence, and some poor, unarmed citizen's life is
threatened, the police have to be able to use deadly force.
Unless, of course, certain members of the New York Assembly
have their way.
The "minimum force" bill, which surfaced in the Assembly last
week, seeks to amend the state penal codes' "justification"
clause that allows an officer the right to kill an assailant
if he feels his life or someone else's is in imminent danger.
The bill would force officers to use their weapons "with the
intent to stop, rather than kill" a suspect. They would be
mandated to "shoot a suspect in the arm or the leg," like
Danny Glover did in 'Lethal Weapon'.
Considering New York cops have a record of hitting their
targets only 17 percent of the time because of the incredibly
stressful circumstances surrounding a shooting, and that is
after being trained to fire at the center of their target,
restricting them to an arm or a leg prompted Vice President
Joe Biden to dub it "The John Wayne Bill" because it demands
sharp-shooting skills of the kind only seen in movies.
Fortunately it is so safe in New York that the police should
rarely have to worry about this new bill if it passes.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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--------- Baby born while mom drives to hospital ----------
BEMIDJI, Minn. - A Minnesota couple said their son was born
while his mother was behind the wheel of her car en route
to the hospital. Amanda McBride, 29, said she left work at
about 11:30 p.m. May 18 when she began feeling labor pains
and picked up the child's father, Joseph Phillips, 33, on
her way to North Country Regional Hospital in Bemidji, the
Bemidji Pioneer reported. McBride said she had to drive the
car because Phillips suffers seizures, but the couple said
Phillips had to grab the wheel when McBride's water broke
mid-drive. "She yelled at me to grab the wheel," Phillips
said. "And then, all of a sudden, I heard this little waaa
(cry)." The mother, who has two older sons, said the birth
was quick. "The baby just came right out," she said. "I
was just sitting on the seat and he just slid out. It
really wasn't bad at all." The family made it to the
hospital with McBride and baby still in the driver's seat
and Phillips steering from the passenger side. The baby,
Joseph Dominick Phillips, was found to be healthy and
weighed 8 pounds, doctors said.
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--------- Old cannonball sparks bomb squad visit ---------
ALBUQUERQUE - An Albuquerque man said police sent a bomb
squad to his house after he discovered an item given to
him by a friend years ago was likely an 1800s cannonball.
Kenny Honeycutt said he was describing the object to a
friend Friday and was told it sounded like a cannonball
from the Civil War era, leading him to call police to
ask whether it might be dangerous, KOAT-TV, Albuquerque,
reported. "My grandkids come over here and play all the
time. I thought, if this thing is dangerous I want to get
it out of there," Honeycutt said. "I had used it for a
doorstop for a while. I thought I would set it up on the
entertainment center." Police said the item was determined
to be an explosive device from the 1800s, but there was
no gunpowder inside the object so it was not considered
dangerous. Honeycutt said he does not know what he will
do with the cannonball. "It might be valuable to somebody.
Maybe I should put it on the Internet," said Honeycutt.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Please tell me you are at least expecting the rash of divorced
or frustrated men making the appropriate comment about the
stone vagina.
[What? You mean like these...]
Have I ever put my penis in a stone vagina? No....but I put
it in a stone cold vagi....but's let's leave my ex-wife out
of this. -Gary
Have I ever put my penis in a stone vagina? Yeah, for a couple
years before the divorce. -Don
Hey Lewis! The Polock that caught his 'ol lady in the hook
shop...did you find out if she charged him? and if she did,
do you reckon she gave him A family discount? -H.R.
P.S. Ya you guessed it. I was A subscriber to Chadwick's
newsletter! I sure miss that s.o.b.
[Chadwick? Wow! You are a veteran. Last I heard he's working
as a sensitivity counselor.]
Hi Lewis! My husband always watches "Cops" on TV & he said
many criminals have been caught by the police by grabbing
them by their saggy pants. As disgusting as it is to see
people with them it does have one advantage. -Eileen
Lewis, I'm telling you... you have to watch those nude maids
like a hawk! They'll hide things in their prison wallet in
the blink of an eye!
[Sounds like you're speaking from experience. But really, how
many rings can you fit up your ass?]
Lewis, it's no mystery. If she was cleaning, she was filling
garbage bags. Beware of nude maid/gardener teams...one could
drop it out the window into the bushes and the one "pulling
weeds" could bag them for putting in the car "for proper
disposal".
[In my imagination a nude maid doesn't actually do much
cleaning, but I suppose the scenario you describe is
plausible. But then you have a conspiracy on your hands.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
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