Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

After last week's candy bust debacle, you wouldn't think police malfeasance could get any worse, but then you're not in Tennessee.

A Tennessee police officer has been fired after displaying heavy use of force in an attempt to rid a Dollar General Store of a trespasser.

Normally a vagrant or transient loitering about a store is not cause for too much fuss, but then this was a perfect storm of coincidences. The incident occurred last week in Mountain City, when according to police documents, now-former Officer Jody Putnam just so happened to find himself in the store when the trespasser appeared.

In a gross disregard for procedure Putnam discharged his firearm inside the store! When that didn't work he moved on to pepper spray.

This whole story would seem a lot worse if the trespasser in question weren't a wild squirrel.

"There was a lot of people that come out and just like me they came out and they were coughing and a hacking," local Carl Duffield said. "It was comical, but I'm sure they didn't feel that way - the customers that came out."

In Mountain City, whenever officers discharge their weapons, they are required to alert their supervisors and provide a written statement. Putnam refused to file a report and was subsequently fired.

The squirrel was reported dead.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


* Police: Woman slapped sleeping man with fish *
NYKOPING, Sweden - Police in Sweden said they are investigating a man's allegations a woman stole from his apartment and slapped him with a fish while he was sleeping. Investigators said the Nykoping man, who is in his 60s, called authorities to report he was awakened from a nap by a slap across the face from a woman wielding a mackerel, The Local.se reported Monday. The man also alleged the woman stole $310 from him and took food from his refrigerator. The woman, who is also in her 60s, is known to the man, police said. "They might live together sometimes," Mikael Larsson of the Nykoping police told the Sodermanlands Nyheter newspaper. The incident is being investigated as an assault, police said.


* Police: Woman stabbed boyfriend because dog ate marijuana *
DANIA BEACH, Fla. - A Florida woman accused of stabbing her boyfriend when his dog ate her marijuana told police the man repeatedly walked into her knife. The Broward Sheriff's Office said Shadae Scott, 26, allegedly attacked boyfriend Kevin Wiggins with a knife Sunday at her Dania Beach apartment because his dog had eaten her supply of marijuana, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Tuesday. Wiggins suffered small knife cuts to his face and head. He had one large gash across his hand, deputies said. The arrest report said Scott told deputies Wiggins had walked into her knife repeatedly during their argument. Scott was arrested on a domestic battery charge and jailed in lieu of $2,500 bond.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hey Lewis. I think it's pretty juvenile for readers to unsubscribe just because they don't share your opinions. After all, yours is a free country and freedom of speech is one of the few luxuries you still have that I feel should be gleefully celebrated. I may or may not agree with your opinions, but who cares? I still think you run a great column and will continue to read it religiously. In fact, please feel free to clone my own subscription as many times as you like in order to make up for all those other close-minded dimwits who have unsubscribed in such a huff -Andrew
[It's free as long as you're not trying to smuggle any Jolly Ranchers in New York, buddy.]

Makes ya wonder if it's even safe to carry candy around any more, lol. Next think ya know, they'll say pop rocks or fun dip are suspicious substances! Or had that happened already, & I just don't know it? Lol -Anna

Hey Lewis- Re: Your gun control stance and unsubscribers.. Seems some people don't mind reading about the kooks in the world (including, but not limited to sexual parts depravity and accidents), but someone thinks someone doesn't believe as they "should", they get their panties in a bunch. Whatever you believe, in tea-party nuts that want babies to have Uzi's, or ultra-liberals that want little old ladies to register their knitting needles, this country was built on freedom to debate, and speak your mind. Maybe more closed mouths and open ears would stifle a lot of arguing and radicalism and actually, Lord Forbid, lead to an agreeable solution. In the meantime, keep me subscribed, I can never read enough about people stupider than me. Makes the world turn! -Bill S.
[Tell you the truth I'd feel safer around a baby with an Uzi than a disgruntled little old lady with a knitting needle!]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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