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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

This story turned out turned out pretty much the way everyone expected.

The U.S. Coast Guard retrieved an endurance runner after he ended his aquatic voyage from South Florida to the Bermuda Triangle in his "hydro pod" early Sunday.

It was the second failed attempt for Reza Baluchi, an Iranian-born man who lives in Pompano Beach.

The Coast had warned Baluchi, 44, that he was "not authorized to depart" on his journey because his vessel and water conditions were unsafe. The penalty was seven years confinement and a $40,000 fine.

The bubble has 36 buoyancy balls on each side and Baluchi was equipped with a life vest containing a water filter, a GPS tracking device, and shark repellent. With this equipment he expected to 'run' from Florida to Bermuda.

"I don't know what to do. I don't want to fight with the Coast Guard. I want peace. I'm a lover, not a fighter," he said Friday to the South Florida Sun Sentinel. "I want to find a lawyer to help me."

Bermuda is 965 miles north of St. Thomas, 1,015 miles northeast of Pompano Beach.

According to his website, Baluchi planned to follow the 3,500-mile Bermuda triangle, which would also take him to Puerto Rico.

Needless to say, he didn't make it that far.


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*--- Woman Caught Walking Dog While Driving ---*

STOCKTON, Calif. -- A California woman captured video of another motorist walking her dog by holding its leash out of the car while driving down a Stockton road. Amanda Brajkovich captured video showing part of her confrontation with a motorist she encountered on a Stockton street holding onto her dog's leash while the canine was walking next to the car. The video shows Brajkovich ask the woman why she's using the unusual dog walking method, and the driver defends the practice, saying the dog wasn't being dragged. Brajkovich's video shows the motorist speed up, forcing the dog to run along beside the car to avoid being dragged. Phillip Zimmerman, director of Stockton's animal services department, said he found the video distressing. "We have a lack of humane education not only for adults obviously in this case but as children as well." The Stockton Police Department said officers reviewed the video and did not believe there was evidence of animal cruelty, but officials said the motorist would have been charged with distracted driving if she had been seen by an officer.


*---------- 'Thanks for the bush, Baby' ----------*

Police in Oregon said they arrested a pet store owner accused of using store funds to pay a prostitute and tipping the woman with a bushbaby. The Eugene Police Department said the Galago, more commonly known as a bushbaby, was reported stolen from the Zany Zoo Pet Store in Eugene during reported burglaries March 1 and 6, but the prostitute found in possession of the primate at a hotel said the animal was given to her by the store's owner. The woman said Nathan Allen McClain used store funds, including donation jar money, to pay for her services and the bushbaby was a tip. McClain told detectives that he used deposit and donation money from the store to pay the prostitute. The bushbaby, named Gooey, was taken to a nearby sanctuary while the Zany Zoo Pet Store applies for a new exotic animal license.


*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

It looks like a guy stealing steaks from a Walmart in Texas is the modern equivalent of rustling. He even had a posse on his tail.

I think the French lost their dicks a long time ago. Seems appropriate that they should start making their statues the same way.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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