Bizarre News - February 14, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Earlier this week a story emerged about a U.S. teenager who underwent a first of its kind medical procedure. The A 17-year-old boy underwent the world's first penis reduction surgery.

The teen requested the surgery after his penis grew too large, restricting his ability to have sex or play competitive sports. When flaccid, it measured almost seven inches in length and had a circumference of 10 inches - around the size of a grapefruit.

The urologist at the University of South Florida who treated the teenager said, "There comes a time in every urologist's career that a patient makes a request so rare and impossible to comprehend that all training breaks down and leaves the physician speechless. That question was 'can you make my penis smaller?'"

So few of us have this kind of problem, that it is easy to understand the surgeon's incredulity. But apparently the historic surgery was a success.

"It's slightly longer and slightly thicker than the average male, but now it looks symmetrical, and the patient was very satisfied," the doctor said.

And right on the tail of this story comes the incredible case of a Czech woman whose vagina was so narrow she could no longer have sex. She has undergone successful surgery to have it reconstructed - using a pig's intestine.

Surgeons decided to use a technique called a Mesh Augmented Vaginal Reconstruction. Pig tissue is often used because its genetic make up is similar to that of humans.

Doctors made an incision to enlarge the narrowed area, they then used the mesh made from pig's intestine to widen the walls of the vagina.

That operation was also a success and the doctors now plan to publish a scientific paper on the technique.

Is anybody else thinking that these two medical miracles should get together?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Drunk couple fell asleep in dumpster, rode in garbage truck --*
TAMPA, Fla. (UPI) - Authorities in Florida said a couple who took a nap in a dumpster after a drunken night at a casino nearly met their end in the back of a garbage truck. Hillsborough County garbage truck driver Radames Valazquez called 911 early Wednesday morning to report a man and a woman were trapped in the back of his truck. Valazquez said he was about to compact his truck's load when he heard the couple shouting for help. "I got two people, I don't know how they got in the back of the truck, but they stuck in the truck. I almost killed both of them," he told the 911 dispatcher. Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies said they determined Donald Jordan, 37, and Lisa Sirabella, 49, had fallen asleep in a WaWa gas station dumpster after a drunken night at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino. Jordan, who authorities said appeared highly intoxicated, told deputies he and Sirabella were visiting Tampa from Kissimmee and sought warmth in the dumpster after being left stranded by some friends. Jordan and Sirabella, who both complained of back pain after their ride in the garbage truck, were taken to Tampa General Hospital.


*-- Court rejects suit from teacher with fear of children --*
CINCINNATI (UPI) - An Ohio teacher with a phobia of young children lost an appeal accusing her former district of failing to accommodate her disability. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 6th Circuit in Cincinnati rejected the appeal from Maria Waltherr-Willard, 63, who had accused the Mariemont district of age discrimination and a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Waltherr-Willard, a French and Spanish teacher, alleged the district knew she suffered from pedophobia, a fear of small children, when she was transferred in 2009 from Mariemont High School to the district's middle school. The teacher, who retired in January 2011 when her request to be transferred back to the high school was denied, accused the school district of age discrimination for giving the high school Spanish teacher position to a younger instructor and a violation of the ADA for failing to accommodate her pedophobia. Waltherr-Willard said teaching at the middle school repeatedly caused her blood pressure to rise to dangerous levels. The court ruled the ADA "requires an employer to accommodate a disabled employee, but it does not require unreasonable accommodations." The court also rejected the age discrimination allegations, saying the Spanish teacher employed at Mariemont High School is only two years younger than Waltherr-Willard. Dr. Caleb Adler, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at the University of Cincinnati, said pedophobia is a recognized but rare anxiety disorder. "It's a tough phobia. You can't really get away from [children] when you're outside," he told The Chincinnati Enquirer. "When you're a teacher, it may not be an issue with older students."


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, about the Korean woman who got her hair caught in a robotic vacuum. You never explained what hair was caught. Her scalp, underarm or uh, well, the other area? I'm just a stickler for details you know. -Gary
[Well, the story said she was sleeping, so maybe she had the vacuum in the bed with her. I know those Koreans are kind of kinky, so I guess anything's possible.]

Lewis, The Chinese Roomba story made my day. Cute, clean, and only a few follicles were harmed. That woman is lucky they spent that amount of time to free her. I'd be tempted to employ a more expedient solution. All my scissors were made in China so they've got to have a few pairs lying around. Anyway, love your column as always and hope that last storm you guys had was the worst of it for you this winter. I'm in Ohio so it's a little self-serving as we get your weather the next day, but still. Stay warm, Diane

Lewis, The nature shows on TV mention that when you run from a predator such as a bear, large cat, or wolf that the prey drive kicks in and they will attack because you then become prey. So a leopard escapes its cage at a zoo with hundreds of people around. Would it not be safer to just grab a drink, sit down, and watch the special feature that's about to take place? -Gene
[Maybe, but if a leopard were charging you, would you have the presence of mind to sit down and let its attention be diverted by other fleeing people, or would your instincts take over making you turn tail and run?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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