Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

If you don't mind convulsions and symptoms similar to a drug overdose you might be able to save yourself a felony conviction for drug possession if you find yourself in a situation like Ronald Loyd Hall, Jr. did.

Oklahoma trooper Robert Roebuck stopped Hall for a minor traffic violation and noticed he appeared to be very nervous. A search of the vehicle revealed a clear baggy with what appeared to be a "crystal substance" in it and a baggy with a "green leafy substance" in it. Officer Roebuck placed Hall under arrest.

When a wrecker arrived to tow Hall's vehicle, Roebuck said he placed the drugs on the center console of the police unit.

While speaking to Hall's passenger, the officer noticed Hall was leaning over the console of the vehicle. When Roebuck returned to the cruiser, he noticed the bag with the suspected drug was gone.

Hall then reportedly started to convulse and had symptoms of what police believed to be an overdose.

Coal County District Attorney Preston Harbuck said Hall is expected to be charged with misdemeanor possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

"Since we didn't have any actual product to send to the lab, we are unable to file a felony at this time," Harbuck said.

Of course, in order for this plan to work you have to be arrested by an officer who will leave you alone in a cruiser for several minutes with the evidence.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Wedding party falls into lake --*
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A Michigan bride whose entire wedding party plunged into a lake when a dock collapsed said the incident "makes for a good story." Eric and Maegan Walber said their wedding party gathered on the dock at the Bay Pointe Inn in Grand Rapids to take pictures after the ceremony Saturday and the dock began to wobble after about 30 seconds, Mlive.com reported Monday. "I saw the thing starting to tilt, and I'm like, 'Oh, yup, this is going to happen,'" Eric Walber told WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids. "We went right under." "Everyone was laughing," he said. "It was one of those things that it just happens and you roll with it." Maegan Walber said the plunge made her wedding day all the more memorable. "It makes for a good story," she said. "We'll be telling our grandkids."

*-- Woman complains after haircut punishment --*
PRICE, Utah - A Utah mother said she filed a formal complaint against a judge who had her slice off her 13-year-old's ponytail as punishment for cutting a 3-year-old's hair. Valerie Bruno said she has filed a formal complaint against 7th District Juvenile Judge Scott Johansen, who told her he would cut the 276-hour community service sentence imposed on her daughter, Kaytlen Lopan, by 150 hours if the mother cut off the teenager's ponytail in his courtroom, The Deseret News reported Monday. Lopan had been sentenced in Johansen's courtroom in May after she was convicted on an assault charge for cutting several inches of hair from the head of a 3-year-old girl they met at a McDonald's in Price. "I guess I should have went into the courtroom knowing my rights, because I felt very intimidated," Bruno said. "An eye for an eye, that's not how you teach kids right from wrong." Colin Winchester, executive director of the Utah Judicial Conduct Commission, said a complaint against a judge can take several months to be resolved.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
In your readers' comments of 6/23/2012 Patty asked "If men hate being married so much, why do they get married?" Perhaps it's because of a desire to be dads. After all if men could reproduce by cloning themselves they'd have no need to marry, right? -- R.S.R.
[If cloning was really possible you know that only the worst people would be cloning themselves. It would end up in the wrong hands almost immediately. Mark my words.]

Cincinnati.... hum, I live there, never miss the news, and it's a new one on me. Who the heck was that judge?! Need to vote in more responsible ones!
[Hey, knowledge is power!]

I'm amazed by the morons who think that carrying a loaded gun in the wasteband of their pants is a good idea. Hey! If you can afford to buy a gun you should also be able to buy a holster. -- R.S.R.
[Hey, if these morons don't put their piece into their waistband then they aren't going to learn a valuable lesson. Right?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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