January 20, 2016
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
When you cross international borders you and your vehicle are subject to a search. So what do you do if you want to bring 200 pounds of illegal Xanax into the United States from Canada in the middle of winter?
A Canadian man garbed himself in winter camouflage and tried to sneak into Vermont while pulling a sled loaded with nearly 200 pounds of Xanax.
The U.S. District Court in Burlington released documents revealing Cedrick Bourgault-Morin, 21, of Quebec, was arrested by U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents after he tripped a sensor along railroad tracks leading into North Troy, Vt.
Border agent John McGarghan wrote in the arrest report that agents "observed a single adult male, dressed in white camouflage clothing, walking along the railroad tracks and pulling a sled behind him. The sled contained one large duffel bag wrapped in white camouflage."
The bag contained 182 pounds of alprazolam, an anti-anxiety medication commonly known by the brand name Xanax. The pills were separated into 300 vacuum-sealed bags.
Customs officials estimated the street value of the drugs at $1.6 million.
The man was charged with possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute. He faces up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine if convicted.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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N. Korea Claims to Invent Hangover-Free Booze
Kim Jong-un's scientists claim to have invented an alcohol that won't give you a hangover, it's been reported. The liquor is apparently made from plant extract ginseng and the sugar is replaced with burnt rice, which supposedly eliminates both bitterness and a hangover, according to North Korean media. Named Koryo Liquor, it has been produced at Taedonggang Foodstuff Factory, a company that has spent years refining the drink in the country, the state controlled Pyongyang Times reports. However the 'hangover-free' claims have been disputed with experts claiming there is no such thing. Andray Abrahamian, director of research from Choson Exchange, told NK News: "There are some high quality liquors made in North Korea, though in my experience there is no such thing as hangover-free booze anywhere in the world." He added that he hadn't tried the brand but associated the drink with medicinal properties and isn't that keen on it as a "tasty treat".
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*-- Live Shark Found in Florida Swimming Pool --*
LAKE WORTH, Fla. -- A condominium resident in Florida was met with a shock when she discovered a live shark in the building's pool. The five-foot black tip shark was found in the Mariner's Cay condominium pool in Lake Worth and removed by Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers. The woman also reported seeing two men running from the scene at the time of her discovery (two assholes, rather, who either don't know or don't care that sharks don't like chlorine) and an FWC officer contacted management after noticing surveillance camera's in the area. "This incident is the focus of an ongoing investigation," FWC spokesperson Rob Klepper said. The shark was released into the Intracoastal Waterway after being removed from the pool.
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*-------- READER COMMENTS --------*
You obviously mistyped it monkey boy. Grammatically correctly it should read: Nah, their futures won't be ruined until they squeeze out a couple of rug rats and then their kids get arrested for shop lifting. They will have to deal this "harmless fun" and the fallout as a parent. THEN their lives will be ruined.
[Are you suggesting that just because the parents are shop-lifters their kids will be shop-lifters, too? Because that would be a clear-cut case of 'monkey-see-monkey-do'. So who's the monkey now?]
Lewis, Based upon Christine Taylor's mug shot, I'm going to hazard a guess and say that the broken beer bottle and her breasts could both cause blindness, so it's a case of picking your poison. Although I may be wrong, and she may have very nice breasts by trailer park standards. -Greg
[Nice breasts are nice breasts, whether you are in a trailer park or at a Victoria's Secret photo shoot. But trailer park denizens may be a little more immune to 'titty-blindness' as it is sometimes called, than the rest of us.]
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