Saturday, August 2, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

We've all been there. You and your buddy are looking for kicks on a week night so you go to the Internet for some "professional" help. Because nothing breaks up the boredom of a Tuesday night than $75 hookers.

But then everything goes to hell when you all get up to your room and you find out that one of the "girls" has a penis.

The whole sordid affair came to light when the driver of a red Mustang in Midlothian, IL flagged a police car down. When police approached the car, they observed two nude women - one with an eye swollen shut - and a naked transgender woman. The three told police that a man inside a room at a local fantasy motel had struck one woman after it was discovered the third woman was transgender.

Police instructed the three to get dressed, and they then returned to the hotel room to discuss the incident with the two men involved. One of the men, who described himself as a club promoter, said he and his friend contacted the three others on the Internet and agreed to pay them each $75 to all have sex together. The five people involved met up at a club in Markham before relocating to the Midlothian club.

One man said he was lying in bed with one woman when the other two people and his friend decided to hop in the Jacuzzi. That's when his friend realized the third woman was transgender.

The man in the hot tub said he tried to leave, but the woman began to hit him because she was angry she wasn't going to get paid, according to the police report. That man told police he fled to his car and locked his doors.

The women denied they were prostitutes and told police they all met at the club and agreed to go to the hotel to have sex together without payment. The other woman told police the second man attacked her associate without being provoked.

Police released all five without charges due to their conflicting stories.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

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Drunken woman attacks crew with prosthetic leg
EDINBURGH, Scotland -- A Thomson Airways flight from Tunisia to Edinburgh was diverted to London after a drunken passenger allegedly attacked crew members with her prosthetic leg. The woman told the flight crew that she wanted "cigarettes and a parachute." When they asked her to hush up, she allegedly slapped a little girl and then started swinging with her leg. "We were coming back from Tunisia when this lady kicked off. She was off her face on drink," said witness John Smith. "She slapped a young girl and then assaulted the cabin crew with her prosthetic leg. They took it off her, but she started kicking them with her good leg." The 48-year-old was subdued and the pilot made an emergency landing in London. The woman was removed by police for questioning. "It sounds funny, but it was not a laughing matter at the time. It was serious. She was totally drunk. It was pretty shocking," Smith said.

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Zach Galifianakis Not Involved in Giraffe Death
PRETORIA, South Africa -- When we saw Zach Galifianakis murder a giraffe by driving it under an overpass in the last 'Hangover' movie, we all laughed because the very idea is ridiculous. Of course, that movie wasn't set in Africa. It wasn't so funny when a South African man did that very thing in the capital of Pretoria. The moments before the accident were caught on camera by a horrified fellow driver who described hearing a loud crack. Engineer Thinus Botha took the photo of the two giraffes after driving next to the truck for half a mile. He decided to pull over to capture the moment - and witnessed the gruesome accident seconds later. South Africa's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals told local media the giraffe has since died and the truck driver could face criminal charges.


*------ READER COMMENTS ------*
I don't know, maybe I'm a moron.. but the first thing I did after reading that Satan would kill anyone who prayed for this girl, was pray for this girl. Okay, she's not possessed by the devil.. but sounds like she needed prayer anyhow! --Patty
[That's good thinking. Whenever someone says to me 'I'm going to say a prayer for you' (however rarely that is) I say, 'Thank you, I could use it.' We could all use a little praying over.]


Lewis, It must be something in the air in this local area. Pittsburgh, Dillonvale OH and Ronneys Point WV are all within a 70 mile radius. In case you missed the Ronney's Point story, people driving along route 40 in Ronney's Point reported a women leading a naked man around on a leash. He was on all fours. The deputy, in the report, said that the couple was having consensual but kinky sex. -Bill
[Here we see the importance of leash laws in action.]

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