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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

According to the, a hallucinogenic chemical found in magic mushrooms has successfully lifted severe depression in previously untreatable patients. Scientists at Imperial College London induced intense psychedelic trips in 12 people using high doses of the banned substance psilocybin.

A week after the experience all the volunteers were depression-free, and three months later five still had no symptoms of the condition.

Published in the Lancet Psychiatry Journal, the study welcomes the results as "promising, but not completely compelling."

Its authors are now seeking further funding from the Medical Research Council and other bodies to carry out fuller trials.

The psilocybin is believed to cause relief from depression by targeting receptors in the brain and disrupting the Default Mode Network, which is responsible for sense of self and is overactive in depressed people.

However, the scientists did not rule out that the psychedelic trip could have caused an "awakening", of the kind achieved by spiritual teaching, which also helped lift the depression.


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*----- This Shit Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S -----*

ALGECIRAS, Spain - Spanish National Police discovered more than 300 pounds of cocaine hidden in boxes of plastic bananas at the Port of Algeciras. The National Police shared video of the shipment which contained large plastic bags filled with cocaine inside the green plastic bananas. "During a check of a consignment in Port of Algeciras a pallet marked with a red 'X' was discovered by agents," police said in a statement. "It contained 19 boxes each holding 88 plastic bananas that looked like the real thing. Inside the false bananas was a total of 376 pounds of cocaine." The drugs contained in the bananas held an estimated value of about $19 million.


*-------- You're Gonna Need a Bigger Arm --------*

BOCA RATON, Fla. - A 23-year-old Florida woman bitten by a 2-foot nurse shark Sunday afternoon was taken to the hospital with it still attached to her arm. A splint board was used to support the unidentified woman's arm and the shark as she lay on the stretcher and was placed into an ambulance at Red Reef Park off the Atlantic Ocean. The shark was killed by a bystander before the fire department's arrival "but was still attached to her arm" when she arrived at Boca Regional Hospital in stable condition. Several people nearby said the woman and her friends were antagonizing the shark. Nate Pachter, 11, told the South Florida Sun Sentinel that he and his cousin were snorkeling when he saw a group "holding the shark by its tail. They were messing with it." Nurse sharks are common in offshore Florida waters and can grow up to 14 feet in length.


*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

You say the alligator ripped the guy's hand off while trying to escape from police. What on Earth had the alligator done to get the police chasing after it?
[Trespassing in a private golf course water hazard.]

A marital arts instructor, eh? Now THAT could be an interesting vocation.

So, what exactly is a marital arts instructor? I may need one. I've been divorced a few times so I'm yet to master the skill of marital arts. Thank you, Gus
[That is why he was patrolling the streets; to keep people from making the mistake of getting married.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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