Bizarre News - October 11, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A "birthday treat" lap dance went spectacularly wrong for a man who had to enlist the help of eight firefighters to bust him out of handcuffs.

The man was celebrating his birthday with a lap dance at a private residence in Queenstown, New Zealand when he got trapped in handcuffs.

The female dancer and others tried to free him but failed, so they called emergency around 12:30 a.m..

Volunteer fire brigade senior firefighter Paul Halsted, who eventually freed the man from his cuff hold, said the group met firefighters at the station after trying both the police station and medical centre.

"There was nobody there. We were all in bed so they called 111 to try to get some help."

Just to make sure things stayed nice and discreet to avoid any embarrassment, a total of eight firefighters were roused to attend the situation.

Halsted said one of the cuffs had tightened around the man's wrist and previous attempts to get it off had tightened it further.

Luckily for the birthday gang, Halsted managed to pry it apart and release the locking mechanism.

"They weren't police handcuffs, there was no substantial locking mechanism. I guess you'd describe them as recreational."

Fellow senior firefighter Nathan Clark described it as "a birthday treat gone wrong".

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*--- Wife-carrying contest offers wife's weight in beer ---*
NEWRY, Maine (UPI) - Organizers of the North American Wife Carrying Championship in Maine said the winner will receive their wife's weight in beer and five times her weight in cash. The organizers announced the Oct. 11 competition at the Sunday River Resort in Newry will feature a 278-yard obstacle course and the fastest finisher will receive their wife's weight in beer and five times the woman's weight in cash as a prize. The event will also offer prizes for the team with the greatest combined weight and the spousal pairing with the greatest combined age. The Wife Carrying Championship was inspired by 19th century outlaw Herkko Rosvo-Ronkainen, who legend holds would lead raids on towns in Finland and he and his henchmen would carry off women they chose as their brides. The legends inspired Sonkajarvi, Finland, to host the first Wife Carrying World Championships in 1992.


*-- Detroit homeowner seeks to trade house for iPhone --*
DETROIT (UPI) - A Detroit homeowner selling an "investor special" house has lowered the asking price from $5,000 to an iPhone 6, his real estate broker said. Larry Else, real estate broker for the unidentified man, who lives in Austria, said his client is willing to trade the run-down "investor special" home for the latest iPhone, but he will also accept a 32 gigabyte iPad. "This house is really not worth much at all," Else told ABC News. He said his client purchased the house for $41,000 in 2010 and only later learned the seller had purchased it for $10,500 only two weeks earlier. Else said his client "was a victim himself." The home, which has no front door, has since accumulated more than $6,000 in back taxes and is due to go into foreclosure next year if the taxes remain unpaid. Else said there has been some interest in the home since the offer went public, including a potential buyer who offered an iPhone 5, an older model than the asking price, and another who offered $850. The broker said one woman said she was interested in the house "for the wood" because she needed white pine planks.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
That woman with the Potato contraceptive needs to be careful with that stuff. She could have had tater tots.

Lewis, The man with the constant woody should carry around a picture of my wife. I had to prove to the game warden that I hunt squirrels by uglying them to death. I couldn't bring my wife with me hunting because she tears the meat up too bad. -Gene
[And here I thought Rodney Dangerfield was dead.]

Lewis, did you read this story? "In an unusual warning, doctors have reported the case of a man who injected cocaine into his urethra to heighten sexual pleasure and then, through 'extravagant complications' suffered gangrene that led to the loss of both legs, nine fingers and his penis."
[What an idiot. You don't inject cocaine into you penis to enhance sexual pleasure; you inject Fix-a-Flat.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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