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Nov. 18, 2009
ART OF LETTER-WRITING SUFFERS NEGLECT IN AGE OF THE INTERNET
DEAR ABBY: Please don't think I'm stupid for asking this,
but I need some help. The practice of letter-writing appears
to be a dying form because of e-mail and texting -- which
I'm good at. But when I receive a nice gift, I know the
proper way to acknowledge it is to write a thank-you letter.
Can you please tell me how to do one that doesn't come across
as awkward? Christmas is coming and this is hard for me. When
I try to get my thoughts down on paper, I am ...
STUCK!
DEAR STUCK!: There's no such thing as a "stupid" question,
and your problem is one that is shared by many. A thank-you
letter doesn't have to be long and flowery. In fact, short
and to-the-point can be more effective.
I have found that keeping a notepad handy when I open a gift
and jotting down the first thought that comes into my head
when I open the package is helpful. (Hint: Is it soft?
Cuddly? Tasty? Something you had wanted but had not been
able to find? Clever? If the answer is yes, then write it
down.)
And by the way, Christmas isn't the only gift-giving occa-
sion when a thank-you letter is called for. There are also
weddings, anniversaries, graduations. My booklet "How to
Write Letters for All Occasions" offers samples that can be
adapted and personalized. It can be ordered by sending your
name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $6
(U.S. funds), to Dear Abby, Letters Booklet, P.O. Box 447,
Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are in-
cluded in the price.
Also included are tips for writing a love letter -- and those
letters that are the hardest of all, letters of condolence.
Included are specific suggestions on what to say, and equally
important, what NOT to say when someone is grieving the loss
of a parent, a child or a spouse whether the death may be
sudden or after a lingering illness.
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DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I married two years ago, we
both wanted children. I am having second thoughts now. We
recently discovered that there's a genetic disorder on one
side of the family, and it scares me to think we may not
have a healthy child.
To be perfectly honest, even if we could have a healthy
child, I am also not sure I want to go through the challenge
of parenting a teenager. How should I approach my dear hus-
band about my change of heart?
-- SECOND-GUESSING IN N.Y.
DEAR SECOND-GUESSING: Be gentle, but be honest. Rather than
say you don't want kids, start by saying you are having ser-
ious doubts about whether you would be good parent material.
Then tell him why.
This will probably be the first of many discussions you'll
have with him on the subject, touching on whether your
marriage can withstand your change of heart. Not every woman
is meant to be a mother -- and better to recognize that fact
before becoming one rather than after. That said, you could
also change your mind again. Many women have.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.