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October 13, 2010

Greetings...

I don't know if it's a sign of the times or a testament to the rate of
failure in relaionships, but more and more couples are choosing to
keep their finances separate and dividing expenses according to their
income, and or needs...

In cases of couples not being married, I can understand the reluctance
to combine money, but is it a good idea for committed and married
couples?

I can see both sides of the arguments and just wonder about the reasons
that led to this trend. Years ago, a mother almost always instructed her
soon to be married daughter to always put money aside, "just in case"
something happened and to hide it from their husbands...

That may actually be no different in a sense because girls went into
a marriage with possible trust issues. It also set up the scenerios to
create a sense of deviousness by virtue of hiding it from their husbands...

This could also be because more women than not stayed at home raising
their families and if a divorce occured, many women were left without
a job or a source of income. The average woman getting a divorce didn't
have a high-priced attorney and receive thousands of dollars a month in
alimony, and or, child support...

That was then, this is now and I wonder if the high percentage of failed
relationships and marriages is the reason for maintaining separate bank
accounts. Do both men and women have a fear of getting "cleaned out" if
one or the other leaves for whatever reason?

Many of these couples do have a joint account that the marital bills are
paid from, but each one deposits a certain amount in that account, leaving
their account theirs and theirs alone...

Selfishness? Mistrust? None of the above, it's just the way it is? Does
it work better for males or females?

What are your thoughts on this? If you had to do it over again and are a
little older, would you have kept separate accounts?

Do you think it helps or harms a relationship?

I got married the first time when I was nineteen. My own mother suggested
I put money aside, "just in case"...

I did for a little while, then one day a girlfriend and I went out to
McDonald's for lunch and I blew the bankroll on a Big Mac...

Oh well...My mom didn't give me the same advice when I married Flyboy,
she gave the advice to HIM!

Go figure :-)