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February 22, 2010
Greetings...
I would like to thank "Lady" for the article behind today's column.=
Lately, most of the news stories that we may have heard about seem
to always deal with negative or tragic incidents. This particular
story comes from a high school not too far from where I live and
I'm sure you'll agree after reading the story, this is one of those
stories that make you nod in agreement and maybe even applaud
one teacher's extra lesson to students in his class...
Boys at one Arizona public high school have spent the past year learning =
to
open doors for girls, pull out chairs for their female classmates and sta=
nd
when a girl enters a room...
Incorporating etiquette lessons into the classroom was the brainchild of =
Cord
Ivanyi, a Latin teacher at Gilbert Classical Academy, a public college pr=
ep
school 30 miles east of Phoenix...
A teacher for 14 years, Ivanyi said he was inspired to start demonstratin=
g
what he considers proper etiquette after witnessing the coarse behavior t=
hat
some of the boys in his classes displayed toward the girls.
"Boys treat girls pretty roughly," he said. "And there was so much =
disruption,
so I decided to do something about it."
The informal lessons began with Ivanyi standing up one day after a girl i=
n the
class had left the room to go to the bathroom. As she returned, Ivanyi he=
ld
open the door for her.
"She had this funny look on her face," Ivanyi recalled. "And the ot=
her kids
giggled a little."
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Soon, however, Ivanyi was schooling the 10th-grade boys on how to seat th=
eir
female counterparts at their desks, by pulling out their chair and slidin=
g it
underneath them as they sat. As a show of respect, the boys were encourag=
ed to
stand any time a girl entered the room.
Behavior that was once utterly foreign has become routine. "Ninety-eigh=
t
percent of the boys stand now when a girl enters the room, and the girls =
love
it," Ivanyi said.
As a result of the emphasis on politeness, the overall mood in the classr=
oom
has changed markedly.
"There's a different tenor in the class, a gravity attached to the girl=
s.
They've been more feminized in the boys' eyes," Ivanyi said. "These g=
irls are
reading Jane Austen novels in class. For them, chivalry hasn't gone out o=
f
style."
Cord Ivanyi said that he started incorporating etiquette lessons in respo=
nse
to what he felt was a distressing lack of civility in his classroom.
Melissa Leonard, an etiquette instructor in New York for the past 13 year=
s,
applauds Ivanyi's efforts. "I think it's great if it's practical etique=
tte
instead of the white-glove, snobby kind."
Leonard argues that learning proper manners helps kids navigate a variety=
of
social situations. Sadly, too few have an understanding of the basics.
=
"There are some fundamental rules that are important for kids to learn,=
like
looking someone in the eye when talking to them," Leonard said. "And =
there can
be a role for the school to play, especially if etiquette isn't being tau=
ght at
home."
But is teaching gender-specific etiquette perpetuating what some consider=
sexist traditions?
Gilbert Classical Principal Brian Rosta stresses that the emphasis Ivanyi=
places on social graces is not an official part of the school's curriculu=
m.
Rosta has no plans to expand the politeness training, but he is a firm be=
liever
that schools can play a vital role in teaching manners.
"We often use the Latin phrase in loco parentis, 'in place of parents,'=
and
sometimes we find that we need to fill the gaps that parents miss," Ros=
ta said.
"If there are any life skills our teachers can help with, I encourage t=
hat."
What's more, the parents of the students in Ivanyi's class don't seem to =
mind,
either.
"The only negative thing I've heard are parents calling to make sure th=
at their
daughters say 'thank you' to the boys," Rosta said.
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OK, there it is and I have to say, I applaud Mr. Ivanyi and it angers me=
a little that he has to be the one that is teaching what kids should have=
been
taught at an early age and reinforced as they grow, by their parents...=
The fact that these kids have responded so positively tells you that kids=
NEED guidance and more importantly...WANT it. How sad that parents would=
call the principal after the fact to make sure their daughtwers say thank=
you. Didn't they know this before Ivanyi taught them? Wouldn't you, as
=
a parent be embarrassed if someone else did what you should have done?
=
As far as anyone claiming this is sexist...Give me a break. I don't care=
how many feminists scream at the top of their lungs about this, MOST
females WANT to be treated like a lady. Part of the reason males don't tr=
eat
females with respect is their own behavior and not always because of the=
infamous "men are pigs" quote...
I have always maintained that lessons such as the one this teacher is
teaching is just as valuable to kids as math, history, or science. For
=
one to succeed in the "outside world", one must know how to live in i=
t
and interact with those living in that outside world...
Bravo Mr. Ivanyi, I wish we not only had more teachers like you, I wish=
we had more parents like you...
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